Showing posts with label living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label living. Show all posts

16 July 2009

#193 - two wolves

my mom sent this to me in an e-mail. very interesting.
Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

i really like this story. it is simple but very true. it is all about your outlook and attitude. i definitely want the Good wolf to win in me. i do not have much more to say on it but just wanted to pass it along without filling your inbox with junkmail.

20 June 2008

#115 - dogs and beach

i've been here at the beach for almost a week. me and three little chihuahuas. while it's been nice to be alone, i feel like i'm becoming a little crazy. the little guys are driving me up the walls. everytime i let them out to pee/poo they bark. maui runs around the whole house barking, at nothing. they were barking at a big black neighbor dog once, but other than that it's been nothing. it doesn't matter what time of day either. i can't control them. i let hector out today and he refused to come back into the house for half an hour. he ran circles around me as i tried to catch him. i tried bribing him with a treat, he took it and ran. it really frustrated me because i wanted to walk to the post office. i planned on doing it at a certain time so it was pissing me off. i guess today i am in a bad mood. i closed the door to this room so i could blog in peace. usually they are always around, especially maui. he is such a lap dog, if there is a lap he's in it.

yesterday was nice, we laid on the deck upstairs all day in the sun. i had a blanket out there and played music on the stereo. it was a gorgeous day and very relaxing. later on i took maui and sancho to the beach and we had a good time. it was perfect on the beach and they got all their energy out by running around on the beach with another dog. i need to go to the beach later today.

my friends are coming to hang out this weekend. i am excited because i haven't seen anyone i know in four days. i feel like tom hanks on that movie with wilson the volleyball. nutso. of course i can talk to the dogs but they just look at me like i'm crazy, which only makes me feel more crazy. i was thinking this would be a good time to read, plan my trip, workout, think, and practice. my friend at work and i were talking about being mindful. i am very not. i started trying to be mindful as i eat, as a first step. sit down, give thanks, take my time, enjoy each bite, just be there and let the food nourish me. nothing else going on but me eating. i've been eating almost every meal outside on the deck. it's nice to breathe the fresh ocean air and feel alive. i still eat too quickly. it's like i was raised with a dozen other kids/animals and need to eat the food before they do.

my next step is to be mindful of the moment. live in the moment and be present. i know this isn't achieved overnight, but it's an ongoing process. like everything else, it's gotta start somewhere. the beach is a very easy place to be mindful and so a good place to start. it involves all the senses: you look out and see the ocean and waves, feel the sand beneath your feet and wind on your face, smell the salt water and various dead animals on the beach, hear the waves crashing and kids playing and going to the beach always reminds me of my mom's korean chicken and musubis. so even if it's not hot and i'm not swimming, i can taste it. it's so easy to relax and enjoy everything about that moment. nothing makes me happier than being on a beach. life is good.

it's all those other times that being mindful becomes hard. come home to the craziness and the real world. i guess house/dog sitting is not really the real world but it's frustrating at times. other things i want to work on is being mindful of my actions, speech and thoughts. although there aren't many things i regret, a lot of things could have been done or said in a different way. also, why should i waste time with idle or negative thoughts/actions/speech? i should not. negativity only creates more of the same. i have still another week at the beach and then a trip to mexico and guatemala! life is good...if i could only get the dogs to cooperate and not bark so much.

30 November 2007

#36 - being away

it's hard being away from home. although i've lived away from home and parents for almost 8 years it is still hard. it is totally by choice and i love oregon and portland. i love being able to jump in a car or on a train and go somewhere without spending $500 on a plane ticket. i love the seasons and all the rain. all the friends i've made here are great and i wouldn't trade them for anything. can't forget dodgeball, partying, living in the city, being 2 hours away from the ocean, and mountain. there are many reasons why i love living on the mainland.

but at the same time i miss my high school friends at home. they all stay really close and see each other often. some have even married each other! we've kinda got an unofficial "unmarried" club that's getting smaller every year. i am not worried about not being married or anything like that, no way! i just found out about another wedding and a birth of a baby!! that is just crazy. i'm definitely not ready or looking for that.

one thing is that i am not very good at keeping in touch. i used to be a great pen pal but now that i have virtually no time, keeping in contact with all those great people is often the last thing on my mind. luckily for me i get to go home for holidays and summer usually so then i see my friends often.

my family would love it if i could live there but i just couldn't. i love seeing them and spending time with them when i am there though. it is especially hard when i call and there is something wrong that i can't help with. or if someone is sick i can't just be there to help them. when my grandpa had a stroke it took awhile for me to be able to go visit and we didn't know if he would make it. but he did and is still very much kicking so i am thankful for that. i get to go spend time with them soon and we'll go to costco on a sunday to see his friends cause that's what he likes to do.

you hear about things that happen and things you want to do or would rather do, but you've made a decision to be away and just have to deal with it. sometimes it hurts and you just want to go home and let your mom take care of you. sometimes you just want to get onto a plane and go visit your friends. being away and living the life is great but sometimes it is hard because of the things you miss out on. choices, decisions and sacrifices.