#211 - time flies

half of january is already gone. how the heck did that happen?! i have been working a bit but other than that nothing has really pushed this month to go fast. life in general seems to be going faster all the time. maybe i am enjoying myself more ("time flies when you're having fun"). i didn't even have much time to think about the non-resolutions that i made (twenty ten). i did not want to make new years resolutions because they never really seem to work. it's more about making lifestyle changes and being accountable to them everyday. in the first couple months of the year the gym is always packed and i hate it. i want people to fall off their resolution wagons already so i can do supersets and not have to worry about waiting for equipment.

one of my excuses for not going to the gym is that it is so busy all the time but honestly i haven't been feeling it. i have been lazy. also i haven't been conscious about what i've been eating so it's kind of a waste of time. what is it going to take for me to actually be serious about becoming the best that i can be? no, i am not joining the army. i just feel like i only get one shot at this thing called life. each day comes and goes and then it is gone, you only have one chance to really grab life by the balls. everyday is a new day, a new game. it's like golf where each hole is an individual one but at the end you have a total score. string together a bunch of good days and you'll get a good week. string together weeks and you can see some progress in a weight lifting program or even on the scale if that is your goal.

regardless of it being daily thing though, i do have a goal now. june 4, 2011 my little sister is getting married and i have the honor of being her maid of honor. it is freaking me out just a little bit but i figured out that i have 502 days until the wedding. i have lots of time! i don't have to freak out. i want to look good for her wedding (not better than her of course!) and i'll have to wear a dress. i get to have input on the kind of dress which is cool. i don't think i even put on a dress in 2009 because i didn't have reason to do so. i own one but it is deep in storage somewhere and doesn't even fit because i bought it in 2005. the point to this whole post is that i want to work on myself for this wedding. 502 days is a lot but i know it will go by quickly with preparations and so forth. if it were my wedding i'd go to vegas or voodoo donuts and just be done with it but that wouldn't make my mom very happy. luckily i don't have to think about that yet.

i bought a notebook for $1 at fred meyer and i plan on keeping track of everything, food and exercise. this is the only way to do it. i have the knowledge and education to put together workouts and meal plans. i even have the time right now to do it. i have just been lazy. STOP BEING LAZY! it is just so much more fun to sit and play resident evil 4 on the wii rather than hit the gym. so today i went to the gym first and now i'm gonna go play RE4. hahaha

#147 - greatness

from i hate medium an article by dan john from t-nation.com:

doing everything all at once will destroy you....you have to be lousy at everything. to be great, you have to focus on very few things — most of us can barely handle more than one.

i am living proof of this. well, i'm not lousy at everything but i am very medium. i'm not great at anything but that is because i like many things. maybe my attention span is too short or i am just not a dedicated person but there is nothing i can say i've worked hard at and seen greatness. i love working out, have my degree in exercise, and still yet my workouts suck. i don't see much gain from my workouts because i never stick to a single program. my goals are not specific enough and i don't adhere to them well. i'd be a bad client. i'm similar to the majority of people in goals - wanting more lean muscle mass and less fat. my problem is that i like to try out new things where my workouts are concerned.

right now i don't even have a gym membership but i workout at my workplace. there are some simple, common machines that use air pressure for resistance but i don't use them much because they don't really do the job and feel limiting. there are also dumbbells up to 20#, some bars that go up to maybe 35# and several cardio machines. this is a fitness room for seniors so it's pretty limited. not many of them are looking to become the next arnold. so i work with what i have and so a lot of workouts are based on simple, low weight exercises and combo work. i also do some plyometrics in hopes that it helps with my dodgeball.

i love to read any kind of information on new exercises or workouts, nutrition and health stuff. i'm a nerd. i guess the reason why i'm not in that field anymore is that i don't want my passion to be my job. my belief is that any job, no matter how much i love it, is just a job, it is a way to make money. many people would argue with me over this but it's MY belief. sure, you can do a lot within that job and be satisfied morally but it does not define who you are as a person. there is so much more than what you do at work. i'm in school to be a nurse and i want to be a good nurse but definitely don't want to become burnt out because i put too much of myself in it without having a life. i have to be able to leave and have "me time" to do what i love.

other passions i guess would be photography and food. i wouldn't want to be a professional in either field but i enjoy learning all i can about each and trying new things. i think a "jack of all trades" is not such a bad thing and really, mastering one isn't that awesome. i like to be able to have conversations with anyone on any subject and to be in "the know". i'm a pretty decent golfer and maybe if i took the time and spent the money for lessons i could get really good. i could set my goal to become a scratch golfer but really i just enjoy going out with my dad, spending a few hours talking and then beating him! that only happened once but it was awesome. i also love surfing but i don't have a car, wetsuit or board here so that makes it hard to go very often. the nice thing is that i cherish every second that i'm in the ocean on a twice-a-year visit home. each wave i catch is forever imprinted into my being and i can go back to it whenever i want. even though the ride might have been ten seconds long, it is longer in my mind. it's instant serenity when i revisit a nice ride.

there just isn't enough time. my friend beth and i had this club. well, it was more of a motto - "minimum effort, maximum results". while some would say this is a slacker club, it's kind of the opposite. you have a limited amount of time and resources so you have to make the best of it. i'd rather put in 100% effort for 10 minutes than 50% for 20 minutes, efficiency. same goes for my workouts. for cardio i usually do some high intensity interval training, rather than steady state. when i'm lifting, i always superset or keep my rest really short. i'm not doing any heavy lifting so this is perfect. circuits are also good but i'm kind of too lazy to set it up for myself. usually, i am in and out in 30 minutes, am tired but invigorated and have a good hurt the next day. maybe you can say i like multi-tasking or being well-rounded but for me, i don't need greatness.

#113 - about halfway

well i set a few goals for june. and now it's practically halfway through the month. boy how time flies!! i met goal #3 (pass my class) by getting an A...superstar! other than that, i have been doing pretty well i think, haven't spent any money at a bar yet. i did go to a few restaurants for lunch (3 times this month), bad planning on my part there. the only grocery shopping i've done all month was to get stuff for a camping trip. i still have lots of food from that because we ended up only staying one night instead of two and so i'm a little set back on goal #4 (cleaning out pantry). i fear that goal #2 (bikini body) is doomed but i still have a little over two weeks. i've been riding my bike all over the place and going to the gym regularly. i'd say the goal i am farthest from reaching right now is goal #5 (simplify) because i have been working a lot and been dead tired so not had energy to clean/organize much. i'm not really sure when that will happen. i have a feeling i'll come back from my trip and just get rid of everything cause i'll be so used to living out of a backpack. 17 days till i leave for mexico!!! i am so excited but not nearly ready. first of all, my spanish is horribly non-existent. also i have a rough itinerary but nothing set in stone. i have no reservations for places and will basically be very flexible.

i'm going to the coast to dog sit for 10 days. during this time i will be doing lots of things (some with dogs) besides hanging out at home with the little devils:

• hike neah-kah-nie mountain
• beach bonfire
• hang out with jake and kate
• golf with jake
• fishing
• workout at fitness center
• read books
• yoga
• eat at wanda's and bread & ocean
• bike ride to rockaway, garibaldi, cannon beach
• take photos
• go to beach with doggies
• watch sunsets
• hopefully avoid seeing sunrises
• avoid the tourists

it's gonna be a nice vacation from the city. as much as i love portland (and i really do for so many reasons) it is nice to get away for a little while. it's nice to not see a lot of cars or people if i don't want to. it's weird how your physical and emotional being totally changes when you're at the coast, or at least me. i think it must be the ocean. there is just so much power in the ocean and i become totally mesmerized. i feel a total awe and respect for the ocean and it definitely reminds me of home. even if the ocean looks cold, dark and scary out here sometimes, i look out at the horizon and feel the warm sands of waimanalo. no joke. i KNOW that 3000 miles away is my hawaii. it is comforting.

two more weeks for my goals. two weeks till i leave. two weeks to enjoy life before i go out and explore/discover the world!

#111 - june goals

when i previously made goals (i'd post a link but am too embarrassed by lack of adherence) they were too broad and weren't "smart". smart goals are:

• specific
• measurable
• attainable
• realistic
• timely

my goals were attainable but i think i may have set too many, then lost sight of them once i got in the groove. i met some new people and started hanging out a lot with them. of course i'm not placing blame anywhere but with myself. i became irresponsible with lots of things, but mostly time and money. if those aren't the most important things though, i am not sure what is. i don't regret any time that i spent with my new friends, nor the massive amounts of fun that we had together. the credit card statement does make it hurt a little though. so now i will pay for it, literally and figuratively. what does that mean? well since i'm limited in the days i can work and therefore money i can make, i have to spend less. spending less is something i should have been doing a long time ago.

june goals

• goal #1: save money. this is most important right now, especially since i'm going on my trip soon. i've been saving up for that for awhile and it would be stupid if i spent it on partying.
• goal #2: be bikini ready by july 1. i know, this isn't much time, but i just have to get rid of the beer gut.
• goal #3: pass my class. i will take care of this on monday, finals! i've got less than a week and am getting nervous. why am i blogging?...
• goal #4: clear out my pantry. since i'll be gone for a month i don't really want to keep food stuff sitting there. i will be making interesting meals with whatever i have.
• goal #5: simplify. while this is broad, mostly i want to get rid of the things i don't use, as well as some of the million t-shirts i own.

yes, i know, none of these are really "smart" goals. and i don't really say HOW i will attain these goals. well that is coming up. i believe they are all realistic and attainable. target date is end of june - the 30th. #4 and 5 are hard to be specific. in my head, i know what i want to get rid of. there are some things i got years ago that i still haven't found a use for. but i come from a family of packrats and i am no different...but i am trying to change.

june plan

• goal #1 - i will not eat out or hang out in bars all month. yes, you read right. i am avoiding the places that i spend my money in. also, since i will be working on goal #4, i won't be spending as much on groceries. maybe some fresh food to add to whatever concoctions i come up with, but no more $50 grocery bills. i am trying to pick up as many shifts at work as i can as well.
• goal #2 - my plan for goal #1 should help this a lot. i KNOW how i can lose weight and look good, it's by not drinking and eating out. also i just started biking again. yay! dodgeball league is finished but i've still got pickup on tuesday/friday. i'm going to the gym at least twice a week. cake.
• goal #3 - after i am done with this blog i will study for an hour before bed. i will avoid my computer tomorrow so that i can concentrate on patho. yuck. same goes for thursday. this weekend will sadly be devoted to studies rather than other fun stuff. well i'll be at the coast camping, but i will have my book in hand at all times...that should be a rule.
• goal #4 - i've got two drawers of food plus a picnic box right now. i want to get that down to one drawer and half the picnic box. i'm planning meals based around those items. lots of canned beans and such, yum.
• goal #5 - i will spend 30-45 minutes a day i am home working on the simplifying/organizing/cleaning process. putting stuff into boxes/bags for ebay/craigslist/goodwill, taking pictures of stuff and advertising it, and just getting off my lazy duff.

well there you have it. updates in four weeks. look out!

#64 - lent

the 40 days before easter is called lent. people fast and give up things to prepare themselves spiritually for easter celebration. lots of people do more praying and what not. for me it has nothing to do with religion. it kind of should but it's just a personal thing instead. when i was in college my friend ALQ asked if i wanted to give up something for lent. she's catholic and i went with her to mass a couple times. it wasn't for me but i wanted to do lent. we gave up eating fast food. it was surprisingly easy and ever since i haven't been a big fast food eater. they say it takes 21 days to make a habit. so lent is above and beyond that. i've also given up meat for it before, which was pretty easy at the time.

this year i thought about meat again just cause it would be good. but i don't really eat much meat in the first place. once i set my mind to something it will get done. why i need an excuse like lent to get something done, i don't know. so i've decided to give up SHOPPING. i am a bit of an emotional shopper and also very spontaneous. i am lucky to have a job and be able to buy whatever junks i want, even if i shouldn't. there is this site called steep and cheep and they have stuff on sale all the time. it changes once they sell out of an item, but it's easy to sit there all day watching it and buy stuff.

on top of my lofty goals with my budget, this will be just another thing. i've been spending above my means so this will kind of keep me in check. hopefully i'll continue the habit beyond easter. it will be a challenge but at the same time, i have enough and don't need more. save my money for something worthwhile. i don't need another t-shirt or pair of shoes.

the way i decided on this was one of my residents had a sweatshirt that said "simplify, simplify", a quote from thoreau. so i got on the idea of simplifying my life and buying less, which i've always thought would be a step in the right direction. for some reason i've not allowed myself to. i guess comforts of having stuff. we are consumers. we were brought up as such. also the capitalistic society we live in...it's hard to break away. i was also talking to one of my co-workers about just living on a farm in the future. i could totally see myself doing that. land, horses, dogs, a garden, goats, berries. BUT in order to get that, one needs to work for awhile. you might as well work in something positive.

so i will not buy anything except food until easter.

#61 - goals

okay so i am not a vegetarian. i just like salami too much. i decided that if i want it i should eat it. life is short! so one night while i was trying to decide what to make for lunches and going over my credit card statements, i realized i was spending too much money. i was living over and above my means. i am not a very flashy person but i spend lots of money.

"we are consumers. we're the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession." -fight club

it's as simple as that. consume, consume, consume. whether it is new clothes, music, food or drink, i consume. i've decided i need to stop that so much. so i made goals. goals for february include a budget, work goals, food, exercise, books and sleep. these may seem a lot but they actually go well together.

budget
let's just say i was relying too much on my credit card the past few months. i've put together a simple budget where the main things:

• $200 - groceries (it may seem like a lot but i love to cook and eat so this is essential)
• $100 - going out (for drinks and food! this will be hard)
• $50 - misc stuff (if i can't afford it this month i'll have to save and wait)
• $100 - central america (been saving that much a month for my trip!
• $400 - rent and bills (why?!)

so a total of $850 in expenses. i could live on less easily but i love to eat and go out so i think this is justified. i won't mention what i spent on groceries and going out this past month...

work
i want to work a lot this month so that i can afford to save and eat well. i'm trying to work 4 shifts a week, which comes out to about 16 for the month. i worked exactly 16 this month. hopefully i can squeeze some extra shifts into this short month.

food
i've included a list of foods to eat every day: oatmeal, flax, 2 L water, salad, 2 other veggies, 2 proteins, 2 fruits, 1 yogurt, OJ, another whole grain, and seaweed. although it might get quite monotonous, it is healthy and can be interesting if i plan ahead. so basically i'll just check these off everyday.

exercise

• dodgeball - games on thursday and pickup on friday/tuesday
• cardio - 30 minutes of interval training every other day
• weights - lift every other day and include plyometrics every week
• rock climb - 30 minutes a week on tread wall

i love working out so this shouldn't be a problem.

books
to read 4 books this month, that's one a week. in order to reach my goal of 50 this year, i gotta do it! i created a little blog for this one called brandizzle reads. the reading is going slow right now, only read 3 this month so i'm gonna kick it up a notch for february.

sleep
i've realized i'm highly sleep deprived by my procrastination and general insomniac lifestyle. i've been sleeping past midnight and waking at 5 am everyday and that is not good. so my new goals are 6 hours on work days and 8 hours on non-workdays. it will be good for me. plus i'll spend less time online.

photography
almost forgot about this one. i started this project called brandizzle 365 where i will be taking and posting a photo everyday for a year. seems like a lofty goal. so far i have already failed because i was too tired to post at the end of the day. i think that's forgivable. i still took a ton of pictures that day. photography is my one form of art that i enjoy and so i am not only trying to get better at it, i am doing it consistently!

so those are my goals. i will look back at the end of february and see if i am successful. i made a chart so i can monitor my progress and will be dedicated to this. it takes 21 days to make/break a habit so if i can do it this month then i can for an extended period of time following. goals are good and i think these are SMART goals.