#173 - lent, again

it seems like it's always lent. well it is here once again, on wednesday. i didn't really give it much thought this year, as i have already given up shopping for 2009. that is going really well, haven't bought anything except food and 1 gift for someone. i think this year instead of focusing on the giving up of something i will do another part of it, which is the getting closer to god part.

i am not catholic or even christian, i like to think i'm kind of buddhist. so why do i even practice lent? i don't know. why do i practice gift-giving at christmas? i am a damn conformist! i'm not going around with an ash cross on my head on wednesday but i do love the idea of lent. i started in college and just kept doing it every year. 40 days is a pretty long time and if you can do anything for that long it kind of becomes a habit. then if i like it i will continue and if not, well it was good for those 40.

this year i will practice my spirituality and do things to get closer to god. while for more people this means prayer, for me i think i will try different things. i will try to pray (i've tried it before....not so much) but i really want to do some meditation. i may even try some yoga again. the idea for me is to do something everyday to get me in touch with my spiritual nature and the god within me. it may include reading spiritual literature or listening to a buddhist podcast.

i am going to do buddhist things for a christian tradition. i like to mix my religions up! so anyway, that's my plan for lent. pray, meditate, yoga, read, listen, spiritualize!

on a totally unrelated note, i watched a great movie yesterday called "into the wild" it's based on a book by jon krakauer (also wrote "into thin air"). it's based on a true story about a guy who basically goes to alaska to live in the wilderness and be free of society and its rules. he burned the last of his money, hitchhiked around, rode trains, met people, lived life and ultimately he chose solitude. the soundtrack was amazing, music by eddie vedder. the main character was played by emile hersh who is quickly becoming one of my fave new actors (he also played alongside oscar-winner sean penn in "milk"). i'd definitely recommend it!

#79 - almost there

it's been about a month since i made my decision for lent. it was to not buy anything until lent is over, which is on easter. i've got two weeks to go and still haven't bought anything. it's amazing. i haven't broken myself yet because i still see things and think "oh well when lent is over i can buy it". not that i need it but it's cool. i guess the only thing i really NEED is an ipod. you may say "that is silly, if you've gone this long without it then maybe you don't need it" but i do. so now since i've set my budget and have been living with it for a couple months, i know i can do it. i have a line for misc. which i set at $25 and groceries at $200 but i don't think i spent that much for each. so, with whatever i don't spend on whatever i've budgeted i can save towards the ipod. it's gonna be a hard choice but i'm leaning towards the classic. this is how financial responsibility is supposed to work. you want something, save for it and buy. i had become pretty careless and skipped that whole middle part of saving. credit cards are evil like that.

i went to REI yesterday with a friend to shop for a backpack. the proof that i actually have become a better shopper is that my REI member refund was only $7 this year, as opposed to over $100 in years past. this refund, if you aren't in the know, is a percentage of everything you buy at REI. so depending on the item you get up to 10% refund. so just imagine how much i bought there. anyway, yesterday i was there looking around. i have this big trip coming up and know i'll need a few things for my travels. REI is the place to go for this. it's not a good place to go when you have money to spend! i ended up looking at clothes, which is normally very dangerous. so i went looking all around for nice things and decided to try them on, thinking i could make a list of wish items and ask for stuff for my birthday.

this time it was not dangerous at all. i knew i would not be buying anything. also, none of the clothes fit! i'm not one of those girls obsessed with her weight or anything but seriously, sizes that normally would fit me - didn't! so basically i came out very depressed. (if i had found even one thing i liked that fit and bought it i would've felt great, retail therapy) i know, sad. only goes to show my need for this whole lent and giving up shopping thing. i might just extend it another month. supposedly after 21 days it becomes a habit. not so, still really have the urge.

really though, what makes me want to buy so much crap? i have enough. i have more than enough and yet i want to buy more. it's really just sick. tragically, i am a materialistic ugly american afterall. STOP IT! all choices you make in life in the simplest way either make life better or worse. having more stuff does not make life better, so it must make it worse. spending money needlessly does not make life better. needing to spend money to feel better -- ultimately makes life worse. two things: get rid of stuff i don't need. don't buy anymore crap. easy! i can do it.

two more weeks till easter.

#64 - lent

the 40 days before easter is called lent. people fast and give up things to prepare themselves spiritually for easter celebration. lots of people do more praying and what not. for me it has nothing to do with religion. it kind of should but it's just a personal thing instead. when i was in college my friend ALQ asked if i wanted to give up something for lent. she's catholic and i went with her to mass a couple times. it wasn't for me but i wanted to do lent. we gave up eating fast food. it was surprisingly easy and ever since i haven't been a big fast food eater. they say it takes 21 days to make a habit. so lent is above and beyond that. i've also given up meat for it before, which was pretty easy at the time.

this year i thought about meat again just cause it would be good. but i don't really eat much meat in the first place. once i set my mind to something it will get done. why i need an excuse like lent to get something done, i don't know. so i've decided to give up SHOPPING. i am a bit of an emotional shopper and also very spontaneous. i am lucky to have a job and be able to buy whatever junks i want, even if i shouldn't. there is this site called steep and cheep and they have stuff on sale all the time. it changes once they sell out of an item, but it's easy to sit there all day watching it and buy stuff.

on top of my lofty goals with my budget, this will be just another thing. i've been spending above my means so this will kind of keep me in check. hopefully i'll continue the habit beyond easter. it will be a challenge but at the same time, i have enough and don't need more. save my money for something worthwhile. i don't need another t-shirt or pair of shoes.

the way i decided on this was one of my residents had a sweatshirt that said "simplify, simplify", a quote from thoreau. so i got on the idea of simplifying my life and buying less, which i've always thought would be a step in the right direction. for some reason i've not allowed myself to. i guess comforts of having stuff. we are consumers. we were brought up as such. also the capitalistic society we live in...it's hard to break away. i was also talking to one of my co-workers about just living on a farm in the future. i could totally see myself doing that. land, horses, dogs, a garden, goats, berries. BUT in order to get that, one needs to work for awhile. you might as well work in something positive.

so i will not buy anything except food until easter.