#36 - being away

it's hard being away from home. although i've lived away from home and parents for almost 8 years it is still hard. it is totally by choice and i love oregon and portland. i love being able to jump in a car or on a train and go somewhere without spending $500 on a plane ticket. i love the seasons and all the rain. all the friends i've made here are great and i wouldn't trade them for anything. can't forget dodgeball, partying, living in the city, being 2 hours away from the ocean, and mountain. there are many reasons why i love living on the mainland.

but at the same time i miss my high school friends at home. they all stay really close and see each other often. some have even married each other! we've kinda got an unofficial "unmarried" club that's getting smaller every year. i am not worried about not being married or anything like that, no way! i just found out about another wedding and a birth of a baby!! that is just crazy. i'm definitely not ready or looking for that.

one thing is that i am not very good at keeping in touch. i used to be a great pen pal but now that i have virtually no time, keeping in contact with all those great people is often the last thing on my mind. luckily for me i get to go home for holidays and summer usually so then i see my friends often.

my family would love it if i could live there but i just couldn't. i love seeing them and spending time with them when i am there though. it is especially hard when i call and there is something wrong that i can't help with. or if someone is sick i can't just be there to help them. when my grandpa had a stroke it took awhile for me to be able to go visit and we didn't know if he would make it. but he did and is still very much kicking so i am thankful for that. i get to go spend time with them soon and we'll go to costco on a sunday to see his friends cause that's what he likes to do.

you hear about things that happen and things you want to do or would rather do, but you've made a decision to be away and just have to deal with it. sometimes it hurts and you just want to go home and let your mom take care of you. sometimes you just want to get onto a plane and go visit your friends. being away and living the life is great but sometimes it is hard because of the things you miss out on. choices, decisions and sacrifices.