#124 - the good

my day at work was good and bad, mostly just busy/crazy. i will only write about the good though because this moment made my day. we have this resident i will call A. she's about to turn 104, i think. age gets fuzzy once they get so old. so we're sitting there at lunch and i am helping her to eat.

i tell her "A, next week is our birthdays you know?"
she says "oh really?"
i say "yeah you'll be 104"
she says "well it will be my day"
so i say "well what do you want on your special day?"
she answers "i just want to love you"

i love her! she is just such a sweet lady and i almost cried at that moment. i doubt she even really knows who i am, even though i've worked with her for 2.5 years. she's almost blind and pretty hard of hearing. sometimes i think she knows its me by my voice and gentle care but i can never really be sure. she says wonderful things like "you're a jewel" and "you're a beautiful girl" (i take it for what it is cause she's nearly blind).

one hundred and four years old! that's old. working in geriatrics you deal with a lot of old people, they come and go. there are usually people dying every month, some months more than others. A is the one resident that i am attached to and it will destroy me when she goes. i've seen so many die, some went slow and others fast and unexpected. i've gone to a few funerals of those who really impacted me in some way. i spend so much time there and get to know these wonderful people, it's really hard to let go. some of them don't even have a funeral because they have no one.

i have a couple who have been married for decades, probably 60 years or so. they still call each other sweetheart and are always looking for the other. they tell each other "i love you" and honestly, it's one of the most wonderful things. they don't know where they are or what year it is. he is pretty deaf and can't see well, she is kind of crazy (okay, really crazy), but what they do know is their love for one another, and it's beautiful. that's the thing that keeps them going.

and these people i take care of are the reason i keep going back, even though it kills my back and i can't stand some of the people i work with. i am there for the residents because they deserve someone who cares about them. it seems like everyday is a bad day and i say i'm never coming back, and then someone tells me they just want to love me. the thing is, everyone just wants and needs a little love.