#167 - winter

it's winter and it's been a weird one because we've actually had a winter! usually oregon gets one or two days of snow in the valley. in portland we've had weeks of snow, i think there were three different storms. it's been crazy and unusual. definitely a case of the weather going down the toilet due to global warming. this is not a post about the environment though. it's about snow and winter...and most importantly, snowboarding!

in college i took a course called snowboarding. it was one of the many one-credit PAC (physical activity course) classes that are available. i took it three times, in addition to other classes like bowling, ultimate frisbee and rock climbing. yes, i did take all those classes, for college credit. you do have to pay an extra fee of $350 or so but that buys you lift tickets, bus ride and one hour of instruction. i think we had 6 sessions at the mountain, every thursday. i always loaded up my MWF classes in winter term so that i could take this class. it was great! we had to leave early, like 5am or something, then it takes about 4 hours to get to the mountain. you take your one hour class and then get the rest of the day to ride the mountain. it was pretty tight! the four hours back to school were watching movies on the bus ride or sleeping. sure, it took all day and i was exhausted at the end but it was SOOOOO worth it!the first time i took the class i was a beginner and the next two times i did the intermediate course so you get different instructors that teach different skills. we did stuff like carving, the pipe, jumps, grabs, turns, etc. i felt like a badass. that was five years ago and i haven't gone since so i assume i am back to square one. many times i've thought about selling my equipment and just forgetting the whole thing, but i held on. i've got the board, bindings, boots, goggles, jacket, pants and gloves still.

now my friend from school is just starting out, she's only gone twice and has a car. our plan is to go next friday after school, to mt hood ski bowl for night skiing (apparently america's largest night ski area). the thing about night skiing is that it's cheaper and actually kind of neat. they have lights on the snow and it glows. cheaper is good cause snowboarding can be really expensive. $26 for night vs $43 for day, tuesdays are ladies night and it's $14 for night skiing. so we'll definitely hit that up! hours are 3pm to 10pm so that's a big chunk of time and you can't really go that long anyway. snowboarding all day is tiring!!!since i'm just starting up again i'll be super tired and sore the next day, i'm sure. i am just excited to get into snowboarding again! in the five years that i've not been boarding i have done surfing and skateboarding so hopefully some of that carries over. tho i've heard that surfing and snowboarding are opposites. both of them you kind of put pressure into your board though, it's just a different type. surfing (long board) puts me more at ease and is kind of meditating, snowboarding is hard-core high energy fun where you charge.

so anyway, hopefully we get it together and go next friday. i will have to update after that. maybe i'm too old to start this again...my creaky joints might have a say. we'll see. i'm sure dodgeball kind of keeps me in shape, lower-body muscle/joint-wise. or at least i like to think that.

#166 - president obama

while i didn't really have time to watch the inauguration all day, it was quite a day. i was at the hospital for clinicals and it seemed like it was on every tv. people were excited. we have a new president! it was historical. i wanted to watch but by the time i took a break it was 9:30 and it was all said and done and they were showing bush on his way to texas (YEEEEHAW!). see ya. although it seems a lot of money was spent on this whole deal, with parades and balls and such, it was cool. i know a few people who went and it just seems like it would have been a great thing to be a part of. it was cool to see the washington mall full of people, over a million i think. it's like people actually care again. i guess i don't really have much more to say on the subject but i'm so glad to have a new president! i am full of hope. the road will be hard and long but i know we are on the way to a better country. we will work together and do what is necessary to right the wrongs and move on. together. i love it!

#165 - individuality

portland has a number of free weekly newspapers and one of them is called the portland mercury. they have this section called "i, anonymous" where people send in rants about random things. my friend wrote this one:

I, Anonymous - Beardos Are Not Weirdos...Portland men, I am onto you. You can't hide behind your beards and your Levi's, your fixed gears and your thick glasses, your affection for all creatures cute and fuzzy. I bet you like to dance, and you paint/draw/sew/play music. You say the most charming, adorable things. You have tattoos, or not. But if you do, I'll bet you one million bucks there's a "mom" one in there somewhere. You know your coffee and good food. Your record collection would make me blush. You like comics (see, you really are a nerd) but all of this, all this seemingly boyish charm you possess is all a ruse. I'm so effing sick of you all. You're cowards, you hide behind those winter beards. You're not special, not different. You all look the same. You end up with the same type of girl, and I'm so sick of your faces and your thrift store finds. Fuck fixed gears, by the way. Have you ever even ridden on a track??? I hope your knees go out from all your stupid track stands. You're so caught up in keeping up this image. I'm just so over you all. —Anonymous

so i've been thinking about this a lot for a couple days. it's so true. there is no such thing as an original. people everywhere are the same even if they are different, especially in portland. even if you look at them and they are dressed weird/different, it is the same. in portland, people do weird things and you never know what you'll see on any given day. there is a popular bumper sticker here:portland is pretty weird. i've seen people dressed as animals (not just animal prints, but like wearing lion hats that looked real with long mane-y fur and a whole lion outfit) and just every unimaginable fashion you could not imagine. it is hard not to laugh sometimes because people try really hard to be original and different. the fact is, everyone is an original but they try hard to fit in, somewhere. no two people have the exact same experiences/pasts/beliefs/hopes/dreams/idea yet they may look exactly alike fashion-wise (or facial hair-wise). we are all flesh & blood, we all breathe the same air, we all have feelings (whether or not we show them), we all have to eat/sleep/love. clothes and fashion are so superficial yet people are identified by what they wear. it's the first thing you can judge. appearances count for a lot, people are always judging you and you are all judging. but really, what do you care? you will never really KNOW people until you get past all that. sometimes it's hard to get past it but i really want to know what they are inside, so i imagine them naked....hahaha j/k.

i've tried really hard all my life to fit in. i've worn baggy clothes, brand names, thrift store finds, my parents' old clothes, and the latest trends. i've tried drinking, smoking, biking, hobbies, activities, sports, and a number of other things to try and fit in. i've been a vegetarian, vegan, meat-eater and all in between. i've shaved my head, grown my hair, colored it, cut it and worn hats/caps/beanies/bandanas. i haven't done it all but i've tried, and it's taken a long time for me to be comfortable with who and what i am. i do not like to label myself and i still do not feel like i fit in somewhere but no one should. a few labels i could use: student, japanese, short, dodgeball player, future nurse, tattooed, awesome... i'm tired of trying to fit in to social norms or abnorms, tired of trying to be different or fit in. i know i am different and special already so i wear clothes that are comfortable and fit. i hate skinny jeans and think they are just the lastest dumb fashion trend.

i see someone more original if they have original ideas/thought, are honest, and know who they are. they do what they truly want to or enjoy, and make decisions as such. at a basic level, i think everyone wants some kind of acceptance and for someone to care even if they portray themselves as an individual who "doesn't care". people have to wear clothes since nudism isn't widely accepted (or even comfortable in cold weather) and it's their way to express themselves without saying anything. "i'm a badass with tattoos" or "i am a hipster/hippie/yuppie/outdoorsperson/punk/etc". i see guys with hairdos that i know would take more time to do than for me to shower, get dressed and be out the door. i'm so low maintenance that it just seems like a waste of time to be so caught up in your image. i guess if that's what matter to you then sure, you should spend your time on it. but for me, i have better things to do with my time than tease my hair. i will never date anyone more high maintenance than me, period.

this post feels kind of all over the place. i've had too much coffee. this post is about fashion, clothes and appearance. it's motivated by "i, anonymous". it's taken a few hours to write because i've been distracted by coffee shop goings on, homework i'm supposed to be doing, and i'm also doing stuff on facebook. admit it, you're on facebook too. i'm also listening to music (damien rice!). while there is new music coming out everyday that is original, it's inspired by other music/musician and life. i listen to every type of music imaginable, depending on mood. while i like folk music more than say hip hop, i sometimes rock out to missy elliott or nelly. i love country music. i love dancing to "sexyback" and miley cyrus "see you again". i can admit things like that, now. i dig it. i may not relate to the lyrics of gangsta rap but hey, there's no reason why i can't rap.

#164 - the gym

i've been going to the gym for a couple months now, it's great. i even got on an almost daily regimen. i'm feeling great and have a good plan. i love working out. on the other side of that, there are a lot of things i notice. some things bother me, others make me irritated or angry.

things that bother me:

• people wearing spandex. you are not in the tour de france with a lance armstrong-type body. do not wear spandex in the gym! if you must, just wear shorts over it.
• smelly people. it's called deoderant people, wear it!!! also, washing your clothes could help.
• extra sweaty people. just wipe down the damn machine/mat/ball when you are done.
• new years resolution makers. just quit now. you aren't gonna last more than a month anyway, so just quit now so i don't have to wait 15 minutes for a freakin treadmill. thanks.
• ab exercises should not be bouncy, but slow and controlled. otherwise it looks too sexual and i get distracted.
• people that don't need to be at the gym - you look like you are 70 lbs and do cardio for an hour a day. i don't know how to tell them they should get psychiatric help and actually eat more.
• really hot guys - they are distracting! ok, i actually like them there.
• did i mention spandex?

#163 - internet, or lack thereof

okay, so i moved into this new place a couple months ago. it is awesome, it is a studio that includes utilities and it's great. i have my own space and i can do whatever i want. the only bad thing is i have no internet included. so i had to make a decision to get internet, which would probably be about $50 a month cause i'm by myself, or go without. i have a laptop which i use at school and can take to a coffee shop if i need internet. so it's not like i don't have access, ever. i have access at least twice a week. monday and friday. what i'm trying to do is limit my internet-consumption to those two days. i have come to realize that i have so much more time when i am not stuck to my computer 24/7. i have to make the choice to get my stuff together, leave the house, find a coffee shop, order coffee and then sit down and "surf". hopefully i will not miss out on important information in the middle of the week. if it truly is important perhaps i will get a *gasp* phone call to alert me.

although i don't have that much free time to start with, what's left of it goes to productive things like book-reading, cleaning (oh no!), studying and cooking. these are all things that i find to be essential and enjoyable (with the exception of cleaning, which just has to be done sometimes i've learned). i guess it is a way of becoming more conscious with my time and life. it is so easy to be online all night and then realize it's like 2 in the morning and you have to get up in several hours. where did it all go? facebook? myspace? blogging? surfing? youtube? who knows sometimes.

i have a lot on my plate - school, work, dodgeball, working out, and eating right (5-6 meals a day!). those are the things i do everyday, without fail. now, if i have some actual free time i kind of just want to relax. while internet can be relaxing, sometimes information overload is just not what i need. i may think i want it, but perhaps it can be detrimental.

#162 - 2009

2008 is history! overall i guess it was a good year, esp with the election. well i guess it's already 5 days into this year and already i am running behind. i started this post on the 1st, after i woke up smoke-filled lungs and all. i stayed up late playing firework then singing karaoke. it was good times. my dad bought this huge stash of stuff to burn and it took about 4 hours to do so. we put on quite a show with our "paperless" fireworks, which was actually nice cause then there was less clean up. the air was pretty thick with smoke though so i'm glad i don't have asthma.

so what will 2009 bring? shall i start a list? I like lists!

• inaugurating a new president!
• more dodgeball (duh)
• possible trip to whistler for spring break with sister!
• finishing nursing school in june
• possibly a family vacation to Yellowstone
• taking and passing the NCLEX to become an RN!
• hopefully a new, awesome job
• more pay
• another kick ass Beaver football season in the fall

well it's not that big of a list but it's a pretty huge change in my life. i will probably get a better studio, one that accepts dogs. that's one thing i really miss, having a dog to snuggle and play with. i will at least be able to afford a better place. mine right now is perfect but i can't have pets. my lease is up in may so we'll see what happens.

i don't believe in or make resolutions. i constantly try to work on myself, inside and out to become a better person. i don't need the turn of a calendar page to remind me to get in shape or to eat better. i just came back from a 17 day trip home to hawaii where all i did really was eat. i ate anything and everything in sight: loco mocos (maybe 3), ribs (big city!), kim chee fried rice (golf course), various potlucks (with ono food like alonzos steak!), lots of chicken katsu, etc. i'm sure my arteries are not happy. but i am back to cooking and eating for myself, when and where i want. i also have time and motivation to hit the gym, which i didn't when i was on vacation. sure, i did lots of active things like surf and golf but it's not quite the same as working hard at the gym.

one thing i am starting is not shopping. i did this for lent last year, and it worked well. i have a big problem with shopping even though i don't have much money. i will buy things then have to work an extra shift to pay for it. luckily i have made the habit of always paying my credit card bills on time, in full. so i've never carried a balance. i have bad self-control, let me just say that. if there is a huge plate of food in front of me, i eat it. if there is something i want at the store, i buy it. pretty simple. so i am back to not shopping. no going to the mall, stores, REI, online shopping sites or any other possible place i could spend my money frivolously.

so that's what i have to look forward to this year. yipppeeee!