17 January 2009

#165 - individuality

portland has a number of free weekly newspapers and one of them is called the portland mercury. they have this section called "i, anonymous" where people send in rants about random things. my friend wrote this one:
I, Anonymous - Beardos Are Not Weirdos...Portland men, I am onto you. You can't hide behind your beards and your Levi's, your fixed gears and your thick glasses, your affection for all creatures cute and fuzzy. I bet you like to dance, and you paint/draw/sew/play music. You say the most charming, adorable things. You have tattoos, or not. But if you do, I'll bet you one million bucks there's a "mom" one in there somewhere. You know your coffee and good food. Your record collection would make me blush. You like comics (see, you really are a nerd) but all of this, all this seemingly boyish charm you possess is all a ruse. I'm so effing sick of you all. You're cowards, you hide behind those winter beards. You're not special, not different. You all look the same. You end up with the same type of girl, and I'm so sick of your faces and your thrift store finds. Fuck fixed gears, by the way. Have you ever even ridden on a track??? I hope your knees go out from all your stupid track stands. You're so caught up in keeping up this image. I'm just so over you all. —Anonymous
so i've been thinking about this a lot for a couple days. it's so true. there is no such thing as an original. people everywhere are the same even if they are different, especially in portland. even if you look at them and they are dressed weird/different, it is the same. in portland, people do weird things and you never know what you'll see on any given day. there is a popular bumper sticker here:portland is pretty weird. i've seen people dressed as animals (not just animal prints, but like wearing lion hats that looked real with long mane-y fur and a whole lion outfit) and just every unimaginable fashion you could not imagine. it is hard not to laugh sometimes because people try really hard to be original and different. the fact is, everyone is an original but they try hard to fit in, somewhere. no two people have the exact same experiences/pasts/beliefs/hopes/dreams/idea yet they may look exactly alike fashion-wise (or facial hair-wise). we are all flesh & blood, we all breathe the same air, we all have feelings (whether or not we show them), we all have to eat/sleep/love. clothes and fashion are so superficial yet people are identified by what they wear. it's the first thing you can judge. appearances count for a lot, people are always judging you and you are all judging. but really, what do you care? you will never really KNOW people until you get past all that. sometimes it's hard to get past it but i really want to know what they are inside, so i imagine them naked....hahaha j/k.

i've tried really hard all my life to fit in. i've worn baggy clothes, brand names, thrift store finds, my parents' old clothes, and the latest trends. i've tried drinking, smoking, biking, hobbies, activities, sports, and a number of other things to try and fit in. i've been a vegetarian, vegan, meat-eater and all in between. i've shaved my head, grown my hair, colored it, cut it and worn hats/caps/beanies/bandanas. i haven't done it all but i've tried, and it's taken a long time for me to be comfortable with who and what i am. i do not like to label myself and i still do not feel like i fit in somewhere but no one should. a few labels i could use: student, japanese, short, dodgeball player, future nurse, tattooed, awesome... i'm tired of trying to fit in to social norms or abnorms, tired of trying to be different or fit in. i know i am different and special already so i wear clothes that are comfortable and fit. i hate skinny jeans and think they are just the lastest dumb fashion trend.

i see someone more original if they have original ideas/thought, are honest, and know who they are. they do what they truly want to or enjoy, and make decisions as such. at a basic level, i think everyone wants some kind of acceptance and for someone to care even if they portray themselves as an individual who "doesn't care". people have to wear clothes since nudism isn't widely accepted (or even comfortable in cold weather) and it's their way to express themselves without saying anything. "i'm a badass with tattoos" or "i am a hipster/hippie/yuppie/outdoorsperson/punk/etc". i see guys with hairdos that i know would take more time to do than for me to shower, get dressed and be out the door. i'm so low maintenance that it just seems like a waste of time to be so caught up in your image. i guess if that's what matter to you then sure, you should spend your time on it. but for me, i have better things to do with my time than tease my hair. i will never date anyone more high maintenance than me, period.

this post feels kind of all over the place. i've had too much coffee. this post is about fashion, clothes and appearance. it's motivated by "i, anonymous". it's taken a few hours to write because i've been distracted by coffee shop goings on, homework i'm supposed to be doing, and i'm also doing stuff on facebook. admit it, you're on facebook too. i'm also listening to music (damien rice!). while there is new music coming out everyday that is original, it's inspired by other music/musician and life. i listen to every type of music imaginable, depending on mood. while i like folk music more than say hip hop, i sometimes rock out to missy elliott or nelly. i love country music. i love dancing to "sexyback" and miley cyrus "see you again". i can admit things like that, now. i dig it. i may not relate to the lyrics of gangsta rap but hey, there's no reason why i can't rap.

1 comment:

nure nezumi said...

tru dat. man, can i tell you about weirdos? i guess working in sped helps, but man do i see a ton of weirdos around, and not only "see," but also "interact with." yikes.

anyway, i think the think about individuality is that it only really works when a person's got completely honesty and integrity about who they are. that's not to say that they know exactly who they are or who they want to be, they can be just as lost as everyone else in trying to "find out who they are," but when someone's got that sparkle of integrity everything they do seems completely genuine (because it is, of course) and i think that's the most singular (and obvious) difference between the "individuals" and the "weirdos." double true.