#171 - honoring her

today we did a module on post-mortem care. we cleaned the body (mannequin) and fixed it up so it could be taken to the morgue. these are things i'll have to do as a nurse. these are things i've been doing as a CNA. recently many people have been dying, they kind of come in waves. usually it is in series of 3's. anyway, one of our ladies was 103 (i previously wrote about her that she was 104, oops) and died a couple weeks ago. i looked in the obits everyday (something that old people do) to find hers. it wasn't until today (18 days later) that it appeared.

Aili (Enegren) Knox
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Oregonian
Aug. 17, 1905 - Jan. 29, 2009
Aili was born in Coos Bay. She worked as a public school teacher.
Survived by several nieces and nephews.
No service will be held. Arrangements by Holman's Funeral Service.

i'm kind of upset and sad for this obit, i mean this lady was amazing. sure she kind of lost her marbles at the end but she was amazing nonetheless. give her a service, put in an obit right away (sometimes i see them as early as 5 days later), write a little more about her, and at least honor her someway publicly. this made me really sad. if i were to write about her, i would've said something like this:

aili was born in coos bay to a loving mother and "dad", she enjoyed life in coos bay and growing up in the outdoors. she enjoyed her family and career as a school teacher. she especially loved the children. one of her passions was flying, which was quite unusual for a lady of her times. she lived her life to its fullest and openly gave love away to everyone she met. she truly enjoyed the company of other people and always had a smile on her face. she will be missed dearly.

i guess this will have to do. i wish i had some pictures to share of her (but that would be violating HIPPA) and could remember more stories. i guess i will always have that with me. death and dying are such emotional subjects that i have to talk about in school a lot. i will be faced with this in my career so much. i enjoy getting to know these old people and their lives. it's interesting to learn about what they were like and what they have become, usually it is totally different. we just lost another resident on friday. he was one of my favorites and i knew it was coming. he had pneumonia and was just going downhill. i will always remember him because he was a singer. we'd tell him "do you have rhythm?" and he'd answer singing "i've got rhythm!" then we'd request another song like "old man river" or "i've been working on the railroad". he had this deep voice and would really get into it. he'd do the whole vibratto thing and it was just so cute! i knew he wasn't going to get better when he started saying "i don't have music in me today" when i requested a certain song. he was just a really neat guy.

my mom always tells me i should keep a journal of old people stories. i should, and maybe it would make it easier to let go. it's so hard to let go cause these people become like family. i mourn them just as i would an old aunty or uncle. i feel like i'm actually closer to them though because i take care of them and see them more. i should try to spend more time with my grandparents. each year is one year closer and you never know when you'll lose them. they are important.

i hate to be debby downer with my sad blogs about death and dying but it's been on my mind since she died. i just want people to remember her as i do. i think she deserves it!