#51 - faith

i have a strange faith. but it has nothing to do with religion or spirituality.

my religious background - i was not brought up in a church but did go to sunday school as a kid and went to church in high school because of different friends that brought me there. i never really felt comfortable or 100% there. i loved singing though. i am totally interested in buddhism but i think i'm just not an organized religion kind of person.

i always thought it was weird to have a crazy faith in god. not any old regular faith but undying and unconditional, knowing that he has a master plan for you. i've always been one to want to make my own plans and believe that things happen because you make them. i don't believe in putting it all in god's hands or maybe i don't want to.. it's free will. which philosopher was it that said "there is no such thing as free will"? there has to be, or why live? why make any decisions at all if there is already a plan in place, if your destiny is already set? that makes no sense to me. what is the point of living if you have no free will?

whoops, wrong faith. : P

belief in god ensures your place in heaven, a good afterlife. is there an afterlife, a heaven and hell? it's all there in the bible so who am i to question that? it's good to question isn't it? i haven't really done much real "thinking" in awhile but these are my thoughts. to me, i don't know if there is an afterlife and if i did maybe my opinions would be different. i cannot have a faith like that in something that i have absolutely no proof. but i guess that would be the meaning of faith. one definition of faith is "firm belief in something for which there is no proof". there is no proof of an afterlife, therefore i don't believe it is necessarily true, i have no faith. it is possible but i don't know either way. i'd rather just live this life, make decisions, enjoy every second of it and then if there happens to be something else then great. the show goes on. those who have this kind of faith are amazing.

anyway. my faith isn't religious. my faith is in people. i have that naive sense where i believe in people, that they are good and do the right thing. i have proof of this and i was proven right again last night. well here is what happened in short - i had a few signed checks in an atm envelope and took it to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. it was left on the table and we went on our way. 3 hours later i realized that no one had the envelope and it must be at the restaurant. well it's not quite as dramatic as if it were actual cash in the envelope, but somehow i KNEW that my envelope would still be there. i had FAITH that someone would return it and it would be there for me today. and it was. people ARE good. another definition of faith is "something that is believed especially with strong conviction". maybe this is my faith.

one of the blogs i read is my friend joe from high school. he is a pastor and pretty much the last person in my group of friends that i thought would become one! it's not that he is not a good person, it was just the weirdest idea. he was so loud, proud and goofy. then i started reading his blog and have a new respect for him. it's interesting to get into his head and faith in god. go read it.

so my faith is different from the religious faith but i do believe people are good. they prove it all the time, and so when i am faced with putting my trust in a stranger who i will never meet, i do so. i know they will do the right thing because i would. maybe this is karma...a blog topic for another day.