#79 - almost there

it's been about a month since i made my decision for lent. it was to not buy anything until lent is over, which is on easter. i've got two weeks to go and still haven't bought anything. it's amazing. i haven't broken myself yet because i still see things and think "oh well when lent is over i can buy it". not that i need it but it's cool. i guess the only thing i really NEED is an ipod. you may say "that is silly, if you've gone this long without it then maybe you don't need it" but i do. so now since i've set my budget and have been living with it for a couple months, i know i can do it. i have a line for misc. which i set at $25 and groceries at $200 but i don't think i spent that much for each. so, with whatever i don't spend on whatever i've budgeted i can save towards the ipod. it's gonna be a hard choice but i'm leaning towards the classic. this is how financial responsibility is supposed to work. you want something, save for it and buy. i had become pretty careless and skipped that whole middle part of saving. credit cards are evil like that.

i went to REI yesterday with a friend to shop for a backpack. the proof that i actually have become a better shopper is that my REI member refund was only $7 this year, as opposed to over $100 in years past. this refund, if you aren't in the know, is a percentage of everything you buy at REI. so depending on the item you get up to 10% refund. so just imagine how much i bought there. anyway, yesterday i was there looking around. i have this big trip coming up and know i'll need a few things for my travels. REI is the place to go for this. it's not a good place to go when you have money to spend! i ended up looking at clothes, which is normally very dangerous. so i went looking all around for nice things and decided to try them on, thinking i could make a list of wish items and ask for stuff for my birthday.

this time it was not dangerous at all. i knew i would not be buying anything. also, none of the clothes fit! i'm not one of those girls obsessed with her weight or anything but seriously, sizes that normally would fit me - didn't! so basically i came out very depressed. (if i had found even one thing i liked that fit and bought it i would've felt great, retail therapy) i know, sad. only goes to show my need for this whole lent and giving up shopping thing. i might just extend it another month. supposedly after 21 days it becomes a habit. not so, still really have the urge.

really though, what makes me want to buy so much crap? i have enough. i have more than enough and yet i want to buy more. it's really just sick. tragically, i am a materialistic ugly american afterall. STOP IT! all choices you make in life in the simplest way either make life better or worse. having more stuff does not make life better, so it must make it worse. spending money needlessly does not make life better. needing to spend money to feel better -- ultimately makes life worse. two things: get rid of stuff i don't need. don't buy anymore crap. easy! i can do it.

two more weeks till easter.