#75 - i miss dodgeball

i enjoy being here in hawaii, it's great to see family and just do nothing but i'm getting bored. i'm here till monday night, when i take the red eye back to the mainland. but i really miss dodgeball! it's not only a great way to take out the stress in my life (which is not that much) and workout, it's a great way to meet people. i've met so many awesome people through dodgeball!

although i don't necessarily miss work, i do miss seeing my old people and friends at work. i actually do enjoy what i do. if only i got paid more (and certain people were FIRED or quit) it'd be a great job. i enjoy going to workout at the gym after work then going home and relaxing for a bit before making dinner. dinner is always the same, a salad, but i have come to look forward to it.

i play dodgeball on tuesdays, thursday, and friday. somehow that is not enough. it is really strangely addicting and i really want to get better at it. we have two more games then a tournament, then the season is over! i think we start again in april but it's just sad. my current teams are so awesome! they are both great teams with great people who don't take themselves too seriously (i don't think you can when you're playing with a red rubber ball) and have fun afterwards at the bar. =)

i miss portland and oregon, the cool weather, my room & roomies, cooking for myself, eating healthy (not eating everything in sight, at every meal) and working out almost every day. here i am so lazy. i have worked out a few times but it's just not the same. i have no motivation, it's called "polynesian paralysis". you don't want to do anything. and there is no surfing here, well at least not for me. i'm pretty home bound cause the g-parents need help and stuff like that. 3 more days.

#74 - choices

earlier this month, my ipod died. thankfully, i recovered it somewhat and can still hook it up to my computer and listen to it. and i was smart enough to get an ipod shuffle awhile back to take to the gym. so i can still carry 250 songs around with me anywhere i go. it's kind of a pain cause i've had those songs for almost two weeks now and i want to listen to other stuff but can't. boo hoo. so i've got choices to make.

choice #1 - ipod classic.
it comes in black or white, starts at $249 and is available in 80GB and 160GB ($349). i had a 60GB previously and that treated me well. it didn't have the video and super bright screen but i loved it. classic would always be a good choice to make. the 160GB holds 40,000 songs. i don't have nearly that much but it would be nice. of course i have about 45GB in songs right now, don't have any videos yet. so that could easily take up a lot of space. the only thing is, would i watch a lot of videos necessitating an extra 80GB or would 80GB be sufficient for my mainly music-listening use?

choice #2 - ipod touch.
my parents just got one. it's so cool, sleek and ultra-neat. why would you NOT want to touch it? it's got so many cool applications and is the future. it IS a little spendier and without as much memory. starts at $299 for 8GB, there is a 16GB version ($399) and they also just came out with a 32GB ($499). so tempting. if you don't really know what the touch is, go check out the website. it is like the iphone without the phone. you've got wifi capability, safari, mail, youtube, weather, maps, notes, and of course the music!

it's a good thing i gave up shopping for lent. i have till easter to figure this out. it's gonna be a hard choice but i need to make the right one. i figure my next ipod will probably last about as long, about 4 years. so in the next 4 years what do i need from my ipod? i definitely want it to last longer but they don't make them to really last. plus, once i buy something they will come out with something better and cooler. technology becomes obsolete pretty quickly. so i guess i have a month. recommendations?

#73 - surf!

what is better than surfing? i don't know. the one thing i always need to do when i come back (besides eat everything in sight) is go surfing. i know, there is some good surfing on the oregon coast and it is still fun. but braving the freezing temperatures is just not my thing, plus not having a car, board, or wetsuit makes it that much more challenging to get out and surf. so i make it a point to let my friend matt know way ahead of time when i'll be back so we can go surfing together. he goes to different places to surf but we always go out to white plains. it's not big waves or anything, which i think is why i'm comfortable there. there aren't a thousand people competing for a wave like in town. it's nice and laid back and even on a saturday wasn't too busy. the waves were small but were pretty clean. what made it even better was the purchase of a single-use underwater camera. we were catching waves left and right (more matt than i) and taking turns posing for the camera, which was pretty fun! the only thing is, matt has to practice his action photo skills cause every pic of me was cut off somehow. haha it was fun though. it was nice to take my mind off all the sadness on this trip and in the past several months, surfing is nice like that. there is a lot of time to sit and wait for waves, reflecting on life. although matt and i go together, we don't really talk too much while we're out there. surfing is the closest thing to meditation that i do, and i don't do it very often but it sure feels good. when else do i have time to just sit in the sun, feet in the water, and relax? never. i've said before, there aren't many reasons why i'd want to move back to hawaii because i love oregon, but surfing would be one. once i'm done with school and get some experience in the field, then i can think about coming back for a travel nursing stint. until then i have to be content with surfing once or twice a year and really making the best of it. soak up the rays, get a workout, and have a song stuck in my head, all while thinking about the good life.

#72 - white people

check out this hilarious blog:
stuff white people like

they are all true, but some of them make me wonder if i'm actually white. check out #11 - asian girls. hilarious!

#71 - life is short

i once had a 102 year old resident tell me "life is so short". and really it is. seeing people around you die and going to funerals really makes you think about death. it is coming, sooner or later. you really never know when. so what does that mean? you make the best of it.

no one knows how long they have and in the end all you have are memories and relationships. sure, you might have a big house, money, cars and fun toys but in the end you won't think "gee, i should've bought a bigger house". my uncle was 69 years old. some would say that's a short life, considering the average life span is now way over seventy. but he did the most with it. was a professor of education, a retired captain in the air force and a lovingly husband of over forty years.

reflecting on his full life and all his accomplishments only made me think about my future, my future and my funeral. it really was a wonderful funeral, funny memories and lots of laughter. he touched many lives and was a very modest person. what will people say of my life when it is over? i could only hope that it would be words used at my uncles funeral: kind, caring, gentle, loving, and smart.

although it may sound morbid to always be thinking of death, i do. but it is a constant reminder to me that life IS short and to really do something with it. certainly, sitting on the computer all day is not doing me much good. cultivate lasting and memorable relationships, eat lots of food and enjoy it, and most of all enjoy it. enjoy your life and share it with others, that's all we can do i guess.

#70 - obama wins hawaii

barack obama was born and raised in hawaii. he went to punahou school and has family here. this makes him a hawaii kid. there is this crazy thing about hawaii people, they love their own. it's more amazing than crazy. the aloha spirit i guess. last night was the democratic caucuses, which in the last election drew about 4,000 voters. it was estimated that over 36,000 voters showed up. obama got about 76% of the votes over clinton. they had only printed 17,000 ballots so ended up using notebook paper for the rest! it's pretty amazing what kind of excitement is surrounding him, and the election in general.

if only for the simple fact that he is from hawaii makes people get off their lazy asses and go vote, well alright! it's not really a great way to pick a candidate but hey, that's life and politics. some people don't know more than he's a democrat, and from hawaii. whatever.

hawaii people love their own. take for example camille velasco and jasmine trias of american idol 3, perhaps not the best singers of the group but they got very far. i'm convinced it was because they were from hawaii so the whole state pretty much voted for them. or the UH football team this year, even old ladies were becoming football fans and flying to new orleans to watch the team play. some had no idea about football but the boys from hawaii were bringing pride to the whole state. it's all about state pride.

i totally believe everyone should use their rights as citizens and go vote. voter turnout in the past has been abysmal. where are the young voters and people of color? why do only 50% show up to vote, how hard is it to do it? i really don't care who you vote for. so yeah i'm excited about obama but you don't have to be. if my blog excites a few people to get out and vote for mccain, i'm all for it. it's a democracy baby. VOTE!

#69 - RENT to close!

i knew it would happen some day but i am in shock and really sad. RENT on broadway is closing on june 1st! it is one of my life goals to go watch RENT on broadway so somehow, before june, i have to go to new york and see it! i randomly thought of rent, looked up to see if the traveling group was coming to portland, oregon, or anywhere near and then read the new york times article that said they were closing! i am in no way rich and cannot afford to fly out to new york just to see RENT but seriously, RENT changed my life.

i first saw RENT on a 1997-8 band trip to southern california. we marched in the rose bowl parade and it was a great time. the highlight for me wasn't going snowboarding for the first time or being on national tv (in a silly marching outfit), it was going to see RENT. and who played mark in this one? none other than "doogie howser" - neil patrick harris!! i really hadn't heard of it before but instantly loved it! i am a huge fan of music and musicals and so this was right up my ally. the fact that its really a story about love and friendship is the most important. also, it is a story about life in new york, aids, and over and above all - life. it is based loosely on puccini's opera "la boheme" but with rock style music. one of the most important and big ideas is "no day but today". we need to enjoy the time we have, no matter how short or hard it is.

RENT has become bigger than jonathan larson ever imagined and they even recently made a movie. although i like the movie, it is so different from seeing it live. but you can watch it over and over. i've seen RENT a number of times - in hawaii, portland and eugene - couple times each run. you really can't see this show enough. for $20 you can sit in the first two rows of the show. you just have to "rush" for tickets, the day of the show. so basically i sat out in front of the theater all day to wait for the opportunity to buy those cheap tix. it was soooooooooo worth it! what a great show. so now my dilemma - i have basically 3 months to fly to ny and see it, and really no money to do so. must...win....lotto...

some clips of rent on broadway:

#68 - si se puede!

i took a one of those tests where you answer some questions and it tells you who you are closest to in beliefs. mine was right on with barack obama, furthest from huckabee. is that a good way to choose a candidate? not really but it just re-emphasizes my choice. this will be my 3rd presidential election - yikes i'm getting old. both times i voted for a person who was not necessarily someone i wanted in office but someone a thousand times better than who we have now. i won't even go into that.

i heard about this video that will.i.am from black eyed peas made after one of obama's speeches. pretty cool stuff. it's a very inspiring speech that i kind of forgot presidential candidates could make. wait, is that HOPE that we are feeling? i think so, and if feels GOOD! watch it!



yes we can, people!!

#67 - enka

i've been on a big enka kick lately. i got this podcast on itunes for free, there are 3 podcasts of 45 minutes each. it's basically just a bunch of enka songs, lots of good stuff, including this gem:

misora hibari singing "kawa no nagare no you ni"
i've got to say this is one of my favorite songs and no matter what language you can feel it. it's basically a song about life. this is misora hibari's signature song because she died right after it was released and everyone remembers her for it. it was voted in 1997 the best Japanese song of all time. i totally agree.

although enka will definitely not be for all to enjoy, i really love it. i guess it could be compared to country or blues. the songs are usually pretty sad, about loss, love, loneliness and just life. even in japan, enka is not really popular with the younger crowd. most enka singers dress in formal japanese wear, kimonos and such so it's a pretty old-fashioned thing. maybe i have old taste since i hang out with old people all the time. they play a lot of enka at japanese restaurants, it's very japanese-y. it's also very emotional. maybe it's japanese emo. jemo? hmm....

#66 - r.i.p. uncle

it seems like the pain of losing loved ones is never going to end. it's been a long period of mourning that hasn't really subsided, if it's not one person, it's another. grandma bean in september, ben in november and now my uncle warren. he's actually not my uncle but my dad's mom's brother-in-law. if you put it that way it would seem like we were not meant to be close. but i would say that he (and my aunty carlene) was one of the big reasons why i chose to move to oregon, almost ten years ago. he was a prof at oregon state u and we visited little ole corvallis in '98 on a west coast college visiting trip, i was sold pretty quick! everywhere i looked it was green and beautiful, i loved the rain/weather, and i would have real family close by. how could you i not choose OSU? i didn't know them very well since they only came to visit now and then but i knew they welcomed me with open arms and hearts, embracing me as their own.

uncle warren was the most caring, thoughtful, unselfish, kind person i know. my aunty has parkinson's and so he has been her main caregiver for YEARS. i've never heard him complain and he did everything with her in mind. i never heard him ask for anything for himself. everything he did was for her. he was just a special person who touched everyone he met. while i went to school i had my own room at their house, never more than ten minutes away from where i lived. there was a free-standing offer of delicious food and a warm bed with family to keep me company. he made the best teriyaki meatloaf and beef stew. no one left hungry or skinny! my sister stayed there for maybe a week and gained 5 pounds i think.

he was a professor at oregon state for many years, in the dept of education. although i didn't know him as a professor, everyone at the college spoke highly of him. he was well respected and liked. he would always ask me lots of questions about school, work and the future. he was kind of a hard ass but just wanted me to be successful and meet my potential. i want to make him proud. he retired in 2002 but i didn't graduate till 2003, they decided to stay in oregon until i did before they moved back to hawaii. when they finally did, they got a condo and retired life was good.

uncle w had always been neat, on time and kept a tight schedule, even in retirement. so it was a little strange when he started not caring about the mess in the house and being a little late. he even missed a plane. it turned out he had a brain tumor! he had to go into the hospital and get surgery...but he fought through that and made it out. he got a cool scar but eventually he got back to himself, even driving again. when i was home in december he found out he had a lymphoma in his throat and tailbone which made it hard to eat and sit/stand. they were going to do chemo and other tests. my mom said they'd given him 9 months. he died yesterday.

i read this passage today in a newsletter at work that reminded me of uncle warren:

love is very patient, very kind
love knows no jealousy
love makes no parades,
gives itself no airs,
is never rude
never selfish
never resentful;
love is never glad when others go wrong
love is always eager to believe the best
always hopeful,
always patient
love never disappears

then i realized its a bible verse - 1 corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. love never fails.

my uncle was this definition of love, towards my aunty and everyone around him. he was not a person of many words. actually he was pretty quiet, my aunty and i are the crazy ones! i can't believe we've lost him. may he rest in peace, free from earthly pains and worries.

#65 - tarako

my friend first got me to watch this. it was very strangely addicting. here is the original, a commercial originally aired in japan a couple years ago. it's for a pasta sauce with tarako (fish eggs). i think that sounds disgusting but apparently they are popular, and so is this song. maybe not so much anymore but there is a whole music video, then other commercials.

some of these are very creepy and you may get nightmares when wanting to eat spaghetti. these little dolls are really weird. there is another vid that i didn't post with a seriously more scary scene.

they are making money on this song. here are the crazy lyrics. so weird.

たったら　たったら　たらたら　たらこ [tattara tattara taratara tarako]
おなかが鳴ると　やって来る [when your stomach growls, it (tarako) comes]
なかまを連れて　やって来る [it comes bringing its friends]
たらこ　かぶって　顔出して [It wears tarako hood and sticks its face out]
スイッチョ　スイッチョ　出かけます [suiccyo steps out for the day]
ふと気づけば　窓の外 [suddenly you notice, it’s just outside your window]
ふと気づくと　家の中 [suddenly you notice, it’s in your house]
たらこ　たらこ　たっぷり　たらこ [tarako tarako plenty of tarako]
たらこ　たらこ　たっぷり [tarako tarako plenty of tarako]
たらこが　やって来る [tarako is coming]
たらこ　たらこ　つぶつぶ　たらこ [tarako tarako lumpy-lumpy tarako]
たらこ　たらこ　つぶつぶ [tarako tarako lumpy-lumpy]
たらこが　やって来る [tarako is coming!]
たらこ　たっぷり　たっぷり　たらこ [tarako tarako plenty of tarako]
たらこ　たっぷり　たっぷり　たらこ [tarako tarako plenty of tarako]
パスタゆでると　やって来る [when you boil pasta, it (tarako) comes]
きれいに並んで　やって来る [it comes all neatly lined up]
いつも　ニコニコ　素敵な笑顔 [always grinning with a nice smile]
チャカボコ　チャカラカ　チャーミング [cyakaboko cyakaboka charming]
ふと気づけば　肩の上 [suddenly you notice, it’s (tarako is) on your shoulder]
ふと気づくと　皿の中 suddenly you notice, it’s in your plate]
たらこ　たらこ　たっぷり　たらこ [tarako tarako plenty of tarako]
たらこ　たらこ　たっぷり [tarako tarako plenty of tarako]
たらこが　やって来る [tarako is coming!]
たらこ　たらこ　つぶつぶ　たらこ [tarako tarako lumpy-lumpy tarako]
たらこ　たらこ　つぶつぶ [tarako tarako lumpy-lumpy]
たらこが　やって来る [tarako is coming!]
たらこ　たっぷり　たっぷり　たらこ [tarako tarako plenty of tarako]
たらこ　たっぷり　たっぷり　たらこ [tarako tarako plenty of tarako]




if i liked tarako i'd be all over this. i wonder if they sell it at uwajimaya...


this next one is kind of creepy. there is a creepier one in black and white...

some girls doing the tarako dance to a more hip hop style song.


leave it up to the japanese to come up with something ingenious like this for marketing! i can't really say i'd eat the tarako sauce but i'd think about it. mostly cause you can't get the stupid song out of your head!

#64 - lent

the 40 days before easter is called lent. people fast and give up things to prepare themselves spiritually for easter celebration. lots of people do more praying and what not. for me it has nothing to do with religion. it kind of should but it's just a personal thing instead. when i was in college my friend ALQ asked if i wanted to give up something for lent. she's catholic and i went with her to mass a couple times. it wasn't for me but i wanted to do lent. we gave up eating fast food. it was surprisingly easy and ever since i haven't been a big fast food eater. they say it takes 21 days to make a habit. so lent is above and beyond that. i've also given up meat for it before, which was pretty easy at the time.

this year i thought about meat again just cause it would be good. but i don't really eat much meat in the first place. once i set my mind to something it will get done. why i need an excuse like lent to get something done, i don't know. so i've decided to give up SHOPPING. i am a bit of an emotional shopper and also very spontaneous. i am lucky to have a job and be able to buy whatever junks i want, even if i shouldn't. there is this site called steep and cheep and they have stuff on sale all the time. it changes once they sell out of an item, but it's easy to sit there all day watching it and buy stuff.

on top of my lofty goals with my budget, this will be just another thing. i've been spending above my means so this will kind of keep me in check. hopefully i'll continue the habit beyond easter. it will be a challenge but at the same time, i have enough and don't need more. save my money for something worthwhile. i don't need another t-shirt or pair of shoes.

the way i decided on this was one of my residents had a sweatshirt that said "simplify, simplify", a quote from thoreau. so i got on the idea of simplifying my life and buying less, which i've always thought would be a step in the right direction. for some reason i've not allowed myself to. i guess comforts of having stuff. we are consumers. we were brought up as such. also the capitalistic society we live in...it's hard to break away. i was also talking to one of my co-workers about just living on a farm in the future. i could totally see myself doing that. land, horses, dogs, a garden, goats, berries. BUT in order to get that, one needs to work for awhile. you might as well work in something positive.

so i will not buy anything except food until easter.

#63 - super bowl

usually i am not too much into the super bowl. this year was no exception. it started ever since i was at a small super bowl party and my friend (host)'s parents to call and say they were getting a divorce. that ended the party pretty quickly. it's never been my thing. i would be all over it if the BRONCOS were playing but that hasn't happened in awhile. i didn't know what to expect for this 42nd super bowl. the undefeated new england patriots and the new york giants. i was at the gym working out and saw it playing on one of the tvs. it was the end of the 3rd quarter, 7-3 patriots. i was curious to see what was going on since it would be cool if the pats had a perfect season. but of course, it was not to be. i didn't know who would win until this play. by this time the pats were up 14-10 with a little over a minute left in the game. eli manning and the giants were on the move but at a 3rd and 5. one of the most incredible plays ever, from that i knew they wanted to win more. and they did.

first of all, eli isn't really a scrambler but he got out of that sure sack. then he just throws it up there and tyree goes up and grabs it, kind of sticks it to his helmet and has to fight the whole way down. he definitely has control of the ball and you can see how he struggles to keep it in his possession and off the ground. simply amazing. so that was the play of the game.

i always thought "why is eli manning so coveted?". if anyone remembers the debacle that was the 2004 nfl draft, where he was drafted first (out of ole miss) by the san diego chargers. he didn't want to go there and basically held out till the ny giants could work out a trade for phillip rivers and 3 other future picks. so of course i thought what a big-headed jock, to refuse to go to a team because they suck. but hey, that's professional sports!

#62 - maybe the end

i am so distraught right now it's hard to think. the worst thing EVER just happened to me. i am totally serious when i say this is huge. i was all ready to leave my house and get on the bus for an hour's ride. i had my ipod, turned it on and picked a mason jennings song that was in my head ("nothing") to listen to. then my screen froze. then i tinkered around, trying the reset thing where you hold the menu and select buttons at the same time. then this...

i could not believe it. i had heard about the sad ipod icon but had never seen it. i was naive to think that my ipod would never die. maybe it only happens to other people, i thought. well i was pretty wrong. it is on disk mode right now, attached to my computer, which it still recognizes. so that is a good thing. i do not trust it to take it off "life support". i am afraid. i am very afraid.

it is a 60GB ipod, not the fancy video one, but the one right before - photo ipod. so it's kind of old. still has color screen and all that but i've had it awhile. it was stupid of me to think it would live forever. as of this moment, i have 11,274 songs on my ipod. it is over 40GB worth. my itunes library on my computer has 4518 songs, 16GB. where are all those other songs, you may ask?! well since i got my ipod i've lived in several places and had a few different computers. it is a lot of work to try and figure out all that music. a lot of it is stuff i haven't listened to a whole lot. i like to just give music a chance, i put it on there in hopes i'll listen and like it. in reality i listen to mostly the same 50 albums over and over. i need to work on that. what's the point in having so much music anyway?

maybe this is good for me. release my attachment to this thing. i just love music so much and being able to go everywhere with your whole library of music is just so great! convenience at its best. sometimes i'll just get into an eminem mode and there it is. i have a little ipod shuffle that i mostly use for working out but there isn't a screen so you can't see or pick the song you want. it's so different and only holds about 250 songs. it's great for the gym but otherwise...i need my classic. like i said, it's now permanently attached to my computer until i can figure out what to do. of course my warranty ran out and so for $150 i can see if they could fix it (no guarantees!) or for $250 i could get a new 80GB video ipod, which would mean putting in lots of work to figure out albums i need, get them and all that. ARGH!!!!!!!