#89 - i am bitter

(from the free online dictionary) - bitter adj. 6. marked by resentment or cynicism

this is how i feel after my first day back at school. why? because i RESENT everyone for having passed the class that i did not. they are all together (without several of us superstars), going on with their education. there they were in their blue scrubs, in the middle of their second year while i'm trying desperately to finish my first. they are graduating this summer and i won't till june '09. i have no reason to feel this way towards others who were my special close friends. it was painful to try and talk to them. it was more painful to talk about what they were up to (easy classes and fun clinicals)! for the most part they are wonderful people who will make great nurses (except a few idiots who i will not dare to describe). i'm glad i did not see my great, bestest friend who is still in that cohort today cause i don't want to feel bitter towards her.

i have NO REASON to feel this way towards them. they did nothing wrong. it was I who had a hard time and it was I who failed. it is I who has to take that responsibility and "man up". get myself together and really get my educational experience going in a different direction. I am the only one who can make this happen. it is not my fellow students or teachers that can make it happen. it's all about attitude right? in reading another blog i found these quotes today by thomas edison:

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

there is no way i am giving up, having come this far and seeing the light at the very long tunnel, BUT after today it is a challenge. as if seeing former classmates smiling and happy they are almost done was not enough, i had to go to class. my school is rather disorganized and at times incompetent, i believe, at running things (sometimes at teaching them). but, i need my degree. the class i am registered was scheduled for mondays, 12:30-3:30. it is a great time, being able to sleep in and still be able to do things before my next class (conversational spanish at 7). instead, i get a call at 8 THIS MORNING saying that the class was changed to 9-11 and 2-4 (more on that later). HELLO! what about having a week's notice, or changing it on the official schedule? i checked and double-checked that schedule, and talked to 2 classmates (one from old cohort and one from new one) and 12:30 it was. so talk about starting the day off on the wrong foot.

so i get to class 45 minutes late and immediately have to take a quiz, which was fine cause i was actually prepared for it (drawing the heart with all chambers, vessels, blood flow, etc) cause i read last night. then i find out we are not only there from 9-11 but ALSO 2-4. now this is a 3 credit class, which usually means 3 class hours. we we've got an extra hour, which we have to share with the theory class. it's a combined "seminar" hour. now i'm not only bitter but angry.

the cohort i am joining bought their books in the first term, like we did. it cost us about $1300, give or take. their books ARE NOT the same as our books. so "what does this mean," you might ask. it means i have to buy new books! the teacher was trying to say "oh yeah it should be fine that you have these other books" but i know from experience with these sneaks that they pull things out of books you need a magnifying glass to see!!! things they put on the test don't cover broad all-encompassing need-to-know information, but teensy little trivia on one page of three hundred we were assigned to read. so, i am buying two new books:

total cost, trying to buy old textbooks from online dealers who supposedly have good deals - $150. this is only one term, one class!! i've got 3 more terms left to go and have no idea how many more books (we got about 20 when we first bought the bundle). i am not only bitter and angry, i am also going to be poor.

i am not complaining. i am in school while others have yet to get in, it's hard to. they are giving me a second chance to take the class (74.9% is failing here). i messed up and i'm lucky i'm still here. there are many reasons why i failed, some are excuses, some are personal/internal, some are external. that is in the past. i will make the most of it and tomorrow hopefully the bitterness goes away, just a little.

#88 - random procrastinating

joe does this thing on his blog where he just has a list of random thoughts. my thoughts tend to be wordy and rather uninteresting but here are some:

• school starts tomorrow so i'll be procrastinating more. i've only got 3 hours of class but lots can be done in those hours.
• i might have to buy a new textbook - pathophysiology: the biologic basis for disease in adults & children by mccance. i've already got one but they changed it since last term. stupid school.
• i'm so hungry and don't know what to make. i don't have anything besides pantry items, eggs, yogurt, apples, leftovers.
• i've been eating too much eggs, and meat in general.
• i'm kinda glad spring break is over, partied too much.
• it's 32 degrees outside and i don't want to walk the 4 blocks to the store. brrrrr
• i felt like crap yesterday, thought i had the flu (temp of 99.1, body aches, malaise) then got home from work (another reason why i might have felt like crap) and took a shower. slept till 7 this morning (over 12 hours!). today i feel like a rock star.
• i love carrie underwood's carnival ride.
• today is my sister's birthday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! it's still too early to call, i've been waiting since i woke up but its a 3 hour difference now. nothing like getting a phone call on your b-day while you're trying to sleep in.
• i've been up for hours now and done nothing productive.
• blog entries without photos or videos suck. so here is one:
• kids are weird.
• i'm thinking lasagne. it's cold and lasagne (or is it lasagna?) sounds so good! either way, i want some. spinach, ricotta, italian sausage, ground beef, mozzarella. to bechamel or not to bechamel? ...that is the question. should i add more veggies for health reasons? some zucchini and mushrooms maybe?
• i need to make a list of possible karaoke songs that i don't totally suck at.
• still gotta finish taxes.

that's it, i gotta get some warm/fuzzy clothes on to make a trip to the store. and a warm hat cause my hair is out of control and my ears might possibly fall off. it's cold! it's almost april for crying out loud!!

#87 - mcmenamins pub

you can't go very far in portland without running into a mcmenamins pub. this is a good thing. the mcmenamin brothers started way back in 1983, opening the barley mill pub on hawthorne. they brew beer, have movie theaters, hotels, music, good food. the list goes on. every mcmenamins is different but all have similar qualities - art, music, comfort, cool lights, dark but not too dark, nice furniture, old buildings and family atmosphere. i live across the street from one. i've stayed at the hotels, drank their beer, ate their food, saw movies at the theaters, and sat in their soaking pool.

list of 57 pubs (ones i've been to crossed out):
1. Barley Mill Pub - 1629 S.E. Hawthorne
2. Blue Moon Tavern & Grill - 432 N.W. 21st
3. Boon's Treasury - 888 Liberty St. N.E., Salem
4. Cornelius Pass Roadhouse - 4045 N.W. Cornelius Pass Rd., Hillsboro
5. Dad Watsons - 3601 Fremont Ave. N., Seattle WA
6. East 19th Street Café - 1485 E. 19th Ave., Eugene
7. Fulton Pub & Brewery - 0618 S.W. Nebraska St.
8. Greater Trumps - 1520 S.E. 37th Ave.
9. Highland Pub & Brewery - 4225 S.E. 182nd, Gresham
10. High Street Brewery & Café - 1243 High Street, Eugene
11. Hillsdale Brewery & Public House - 1505 S.W. Sunset Blvd.
12. John Barleycorns - 14610 S.W. Sequoia Pkwy., Tigard
13. Lighthouse Brewpub - 4157 N. Highway 101, Lincoln City
14. Market Street Pub - 1526 S.W. 10th
15. McMenamins Cedar Hills - 2927 S.W. Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton
16. McMenamins Corvallis - 420 N.W. Third Street, Corvallis
17. McMenamins East Vancouver - 1900 N.E. 162nd, Ste. B107, Vancouver WA
18. McMenamins Greenway Pub - 12272 S.W. Scholls Ferry Rd, Tigard
19. McMenamins Mall 205 - 9710 S.E. Washington St.
20. McMenamins Mill Creek - 13300 Bothell-Everett Hwy., Mill Creek WA
21. McMenamins Murray & Allen - 6179 S.W. Murray Blvd., Beaverton
22. McMenamins on Broadway - 1504 N.E. Broadway
23. McMenamins on the Columbia - 1801 S.E. Columbia River Dr., Vancouver WA
24. McMenamins Oregon City - 102 Ninth St., Oregon City
25. McMenamins Pub at Hotel Oregon - 310 N.E. Evans, McMinnville
26. McMenamins Queen Anne - 200 Roy St., Seattle WA
27. McMenamins Sherwood - 15976 S.W. Tualatin-Sherwood Rd., Sherwood
28. McMenamins Sunnyside - 9757 S.E. Sunnyside Rd, Clackamas
29. McMenamins West Linn - 2090 S.W. 8th Ave., West Linn
30. North Bank - 22 Club Rd., Eugene
31. Oak Hills Brewpub - 14740 N.W. Cornell Rd.
32. Olympic Club Pub - 112 N. Tower Ave., Centralia WA
33. Power Station Pub & Theater - 2126 S.W. Halsey, Troutdale
34. Raleigh Hills Pub - 4495 S.W. Scholls Ferry Rd.
35. Ringlers Annex - 1223 S.W. Stark
36. Ringlers Pub - 1332 W. Burnside
37. Riverwood Pub - 8136 S.W. Hall Blvd., Beaverton
38. Rock Creek Tavern - 10000 N.W. Old Cornelius Pass Rd., Hillsboro
39. Roseburg Station Pub & Brewery - 700 S.E. Sheridan St., Roseburg
40. Six Arms - 300 E. Pike St., Seattle WA
41. St. Johns Theater & Pub - 8203 N. Ivanhoe
42. McMenamins Tavern & Pool - 1716 N.W. 23rd
43. The Rams Head - 2282 N.W. Hoyt
44. Thompson Brewery & Public House - 3575 Liberty Rd. S., Salem
45. White Eagle Saloon - 836 N. Russell St.
46. Yardhouse Pub at Grand Lodge - 3505 Pacific Ave., Forest Grove
47. Imbrie Hall at CPR - 4045 N.W. Cornelius Pass Rd., Hillsboro
48. The Old St. Francis Pub - 700 N.W. Bond Street, Bend
49. Courtyard Restaurant at Kennedy School - 5736 N.E. 33rd Ave.
50. Black Rabbit Restaurant at Edgefield - 2126 S.W. Halsey St., Troutdale
51. McMenamins Spar Café - 114 4th Ave. E., Olympia WA
52. Ironwork Grill at Grand Lodge - 3505 Pacific Ave., Forest Grove
53. Back Stage Bar at the Bagdad - 3702 S.E. Hawthorne
54. Bagdad Theater - 3702 S.E. Hawthorne Blvd.
55. Chapel Pub - 430 N. Killingsworth St.
56. McMenamins on Monroe - 2001 N.W. Monroe Avenue, Corvallis
57. McMenamins Sand Trap - 1157 N. Marion Ave., Gearhart

i have this new goal - go to every single one. i feel like i've been to many, but they were the same ones, over and over. my first one was in corvallis while i was at OSU. i fell instantly in love with the communication breakdown burger (grilled onions, mushroom, bell peppers and tillamook cheddar)! their tater tots are the best. when i could legally buy beer, i gravitated naturally to the terminator stout, which remains one of my favorites to this day.

Black as the darkest night, rich as the most decadent dessert, Terminator is for the true stout lover. This is a full bodied and flavor packed ale which draws it's robust complexity from kiln-baked specialty grains. Look for a wide array of toasted, chocolate, nutty and coffee-like flavors in every pint! The devoted swear by it, and it remains one of our top selling ales year after year.

if i'm in a mood for something lighter i go with the ruby ("Light, crisp and refreshingly fruity" with raspberry flavor), yum. every pub has a different menu, some don't even serve burgers! one thing for sure is the food will be good, not gourmet good but pub good, what you want with your beer.

the concept of $3 movies with access to beer and pizza was one of revelation. it's one of the best ideas ever. yeah, the movies are a little old (second run) but you can't beat the price. some theaters have couches to sit on and others are more theater style. i haven't been in awhile but i would totally recommend it.

another big thing is music. while a lot of the pubs have music, the biggest venue is the crystal ballroom. great bands that come through portland will play the crystal. let's see, my chemical romance, ani difranco, dark star orchestra, kt tunstall, nofx and atmosphere are set to play in the coming months. i've seen a number of bands there, most recently brandi carlile, spoon, m.ward and the thermals. it's a great venue.

so my goal of going to every one will not be a time-related goal but i just want to go to each one, eventually. i can do it!

#86 - tony bourdain!

i just love this man!

i read a couple of his books and quite frankly, they were awesome! kitchen confidential and a cook's tour were great books for me, nonstop exciting and interesting stuff. the first about his career in the kitchen, where if you don't know any chefs it's a total eye-opener. the second is tony traveling around the world, eating everything in sight, making a show while writing a book. he is upfront with his opinions and makes many valid points. i agree 100% with him on sandra lee (semi-homemade). i HATE that show and her as well, as much as i could hate a person who i don't know who is seemingly harmless, trying to help people who have no idea make food. i am in no way ever tempted to make food she makes. yuck.

i love tony. i mean he's got a show about food, eating, drinking and traveling. what else is there? he always says "i'm a pleasure-seeking person". i totally know what that means and i am sooooooooo the same way. i do things because they feel good or taste good. food/eating makes me happy.

he says very intelligent things despite sounding like an ass sometimes. he is so funny and entertaining. he's got this thing about/against vegetarians and i was one once. i am now not, because i love meat. i love ribs, salami, fried chicken, bacon, lamb, ham, beef brisket, etc. why deny myself? i also love vegetables and tofu and vegetarian foods. i mostly cook and eat veggie but enjoy just about every piece of meat i've ever eaten.

the things he says about the endearing people of third world countries and traveling making you a different person are totally just honest and true. everyone around the world is basically the same. we all need to eat and traditionally it is where people come together. food and drink brings the world together. the majority of people around the world cannot afford to make a choice to eat meat or not, they are just trying to survive. i am so priviledged and lucky to be born in the country/family that i was. i will never really understand the other side no matter how many of those countries i visit or how many people i meet. that's just how it is and so i have to do what i can with it. appreciate it!

#85 - jason elam

i just read that jason elam is going to play for the atlanta falcons. for those who don't know, jason elam is my favorite football player. he played for the UH then-rainbow warriors from 88-92 and helped lead them to a win over illnois in the holiday bowl. although he was "only a kicker" he was a big part of the team and put up many points. he was drafted by the denver broncos in the 3rd round of the draft, which is pretty high for a kicker. he spent 15 seasons there! i thought he was going to retire there but atlanta just signed him, he went to high school in georgia so this move is bringing him home i guess. he single handedly made me a denver broncos fan. i've been a fan since they signed the best kicker EVER. (two super bowls, three pro bowls)

although kickers usually put up a lot of points, they aren't really well known. they are relied on at the end of games to tie up or win a game at the last second with a field goal. i don't have a soft spot for kickers usually but this is one special guy.

my grandpa was in the hospital (dying pretty much) while jason was at UH. his lawyer happened to have a nephew on the football team. my grandpa was a huge rainbows fan and went to all the games, sat in the endzone seats and just loved it. so his lawyer asked him who his favorite player was. he said jason elam!! so one day, jason elam and the lawyer's nephew came into the hospital to visit him. he had this sweet, soft georgia accent and was one of the nicest people. they brought a football and hat signed by the players and was one of the grandest gestures. for a dying man to meet his favorite football player, it's a great memory. i was only 10 or so but i remember to this day the smile on his face. he did not know this fan and had no obligation whatsoever. he was a busy college student with i'm sure lots on his mind but took the time out to visit my grandpa and made his day.

so that's why jason is my favorite football player. i've followed his career with enthusiasm and although he's leaving my team, i'll still root for him. he is a great player and person.

#84 - food porn

i'll admit it, i like porn...haha, food porn. when i am bored i tend to look at, and think of, food. pictures of food and recipes make me excited. you know who you are, you do it too! if you don't know what i'm talking about, check out tastespotting. you'll see.

i can't help but descend into a state of bliss when looking at these sumptuous pics. they just make all the dishes look great. i know how and i will be experimenting into food pics soon, when i can come up with a few supplies and time. for now though, i enjoy my voyeurism. it could be something as simple as an iced granita or steaming hot bowl of pho. sometimes all it takes is one half of an avocado and my salivary glands become very active. i am one of pavlov's dogs for sure!

subject, color and light. three simple things make the humblest of foods look orgasmic (erika's favorite word). that really is the secret. someday i'll be posting picture of food i make and hopefully people will be drooling all over their keyboards. i just can't stop thinking about food. the problem at this very moment is that my internet is not working. so i'm typing this out on notepad, waiting till the light on the modem starts flashing again. other than the fact that it's annoying not to have internet, i'm suffering. i need my food porn!! i've got all these food blogs on my google reader (love google!), most with photos. i've been cooking for awhile now and love to. i can just taste food when reading recipes. when i can't taste it, i want to try it so i will. food is definitely one of my favorite things.

the only problem (not a big one) with this is that i am constantly hungry. which means either i am suffering or will go and find food and eat it. that's it, here i go...first off to new seasons to buy groceries cause there's not much you could do with yogurt and frozen veggies. i CAN taste that and it sounds disgusting.

#83 - found neverland

no, not the neverland ranch of michael jackson. i am talking about the peter pan neverland. this is a place where imagination and life in a child's eyes thrive. i've heard portland been called neverland by those who've been here for awhile and i really understand it. while i've never seen pirates or fairies, i wouldn't be surprised if they were in portland. one of the most common bumper stickers around says "keep portland weird" and indeed it is weird, but mostly because it's made of adults who strive to stay young and enjoy the individualist life, with other like-minded people.

there are a number of events/activities held in portland that would be great for children but are for adults. sports like dodgeball and kickball (which i do and LOVE), bowling, and ping pong are getting more and more popular. they are a great way to meet people who love to have fun! there are many activities not born and bred in portland but definitely made better. things like santacon (thousands of people dress up as santa and run around the city!), urban golf (golf in the city with tennis balls), urban iditarod (same as the alaskan except people filling in for dogs and shopping cart in place of sled), zoobombers (crazy people on bikes going down the hill from the zoo at midnight), soap box derby down mt tabor, zombie walk, pdx pillow fight, naked max riding, sidewalk ponies (tiny plastic ponies tied to metal rings used for real horses).

neverland is a dream land where only your imagination can take you and it can be whatever you want. there are an endless number of musicians, artists, the older-than-average student, students on the 10-year plan or on their second degree (hello!), and people who dare to be different. there are so many events going on and there is always a good band playing somewhere and usually for cheap. many musicians/bands are from or live in portland (elliott smith, helio sequence, stephen malkmus, pavement, the shins, sleater-kinney, m.ward, dandy warhols, decemberists, everclear, pink martini) and big name bands are always passing through and we've got the trailblazers, lumberjax (lacrosse), winterhawks (hockey), beavers (baseball), timbers (soccer). there is an endless amount of things to do and really something for everyone. we have one of the best library systems in the country and i spend countless hours there!
people in portland are passionate about things. art, music, the environment, outdoors, learning, coffee, bicycles, recycling, food, drink, hobbies, and anything you could think of. you may think that some hobbies are strange but where there is a hobby there is someone with a passion. it may be more than a hobby to that person and you can totally engage them in an interesting, open-hearted and passionate conversation. many of the people i meet are either vegetarian/vegan, bicyclists, musicians/artists, students or any of the above combinations. i was one and all at one point (although not so much musician/artist) and not hard core like most.
portland is a beautiful place with beautiful people (not like fake LA beautiful but real people)! it's separated into east and west by a dirty old river called the willamette and there are nine main bridges, from north to south: st. johns, fremont, broadway, steel, burnside, morrison, hawthorne, ross island, sellwood...there is even a song about them. my favorites are st. johns and fremont. on clear sunny days you can see mountains: hood, adams, st. helens, and rainier. it's a short trip to the beach or mountain, as well as seattle and canada. california is only 5 hours away as well. right now the cherry trees are blooming and you just know spring is here. everything is always green cause it rains a lot but it's great.

in downtown portland stands mills end park (world's smallest city park, ~450 square inches), right in the middle of a street. i kinda forgot the story but i've visited the park. didn't take long to walk across it! there are so many parks and green spaces in portland, it's easy to live in the city. just a few minutes away is the west hills, which contains miles and miles of trails for walking, running or biking. there is just something for everyone.

i never really enjoyed life as much as i do now. i'm not saying i haven't had a good life up to now but every year just gets better. i've appreciated and still appreciate every place i've lived and been but i feel like i belong here, right now. i know i will leave portland someday but i will be here for awhile at least, letting my imagination keep my feet firmly planted in neverland.

#82 - dodgeball and other fun things

officially i am addicted. i admit it. i don't need to go to meetings though. this is one addiction i don't need to kick. i just love dodgeball. that shouldn't be a problem right? there is a problem, and that is i just can't get enough of it!! just think about it, all fun-loving adults playing a school yard game and no one really takes themselves seriously, but winning is always fun.

tuesday - draft league - people rate themselves then get drafted onto teams, making teams pretty even. so games are always close and you get to play with new people.
OR
tuesday - pickup - this costs $5 but would be cheaper than playing draft league. pretty much same as fridays but costs money. it's the only way to really get better.

thursday - regular league - i just finished my second season of dodgeball, on two teams. it just gets more fun.

friday - pickup - there is a gym in nw that i go to open play. it's free on fridays and you get at least 2 hours of practice in playing against some of the best. i love it!

spring season starts in two weeks. i'm on dwayne's world for sure, that's my main team. we have all ten awesome players returning and it'll be a great season. we're gonna practice more and just get better. we lost our first playoff game which kinda ticked me off but at the same time that's how it goes. we ended up ranked #3 in our division but surely didn't play like it yesterday. everyone on the team comes out to the bar afterwards and we just have a great time together.

my second team (team FOB) is also returning. we're not returning all players but have the chance to find some more awesome FOBbies (minority types). it could be another great season (we ended up #6 but played pretty well in playoffs).

so do i want to be on FOB again or try out the draft league? it'll cost the same, only thing is i'll get less time to play on thursdays. i love having two games that night cause i've realized i reach my peak at about 45 minutes of play. i would love to do it all, and people do, but i just cannot afford it. i could just not eat for a month, that might cover it. might.

then there is kickball. kickball is a whole different thing. it's a lot more social and less sport. it's fun in different ways. i was asked to be on a spring kickball team. 6 weeks, sundays, $45, party at the end, fun times. i don't think i could do it all. i'd love to! but i might just wait for OKC which doesn't start till june. by then dodgeball will be done and i might just need the rest.

so i've got decisions to make.

#81 - my japanese house

i lived in japan for five years and have been back a few times since then. i was only a kid but i soaked in a lot of experiences while living there. we lived in modest off-base housing for a couple years and then lived on-base for a few after that. the one thing about japan is that there are many people with little space. so, the houses are relatively smaller and simpler.

i have been quite interested in house design and architecture for awhile now. while i'm not going to go back to school to pursue this interest, i love reading about it and designing my own house. someday if i have the means to, i'm going to build this amazing japanese style house. what is a japanese house? well, it's like any other house but has certain qualities and elements. my ideas, while using modern tools and style, is heavily influenced by traditional style and building. so when you're watching a samurai movie, the castles and buildings back then...that's what i'm talking about!

i'm not going to build a castle anytime soon but so many of the features are a MUST in my dream home. lots of people in japan actually live in tiny cramped apartments because they can't afford houses, which are ridiculously expensive. japan in general is expensive.

so i will start off with the genkan. this is where you enter into the house. it's like a foyer. in japan (and hawaii) you take your shoes off here. no shoes in the house! so here are three examples of genkan. first is a very simple, bare bones genkan using light woods. the second one seems to be a hotel or business, pretty fancy and shiny. the last one is a more decorative one with stone and sliding door entry.

some things that might be included in this area are a shoe rack, umbrella rack (for those who use those things) and closet. one thing that a genkan must have is a step up onto the main floor. i like the idea of a giant stone step, either onto the main floor or outside (up to the main door). maybe both.

washitsu - japanese room
so after taking off your shoes you leave them face out towards the door, or put them away on a shoe rack. next thing i must have in my japanese house is a japanese style tatami room, or washitsu. this room could be a multiple purpose room. in the past, rooms were all tatami but in modern times usually a japanese home has one that they use for anything from studying to eating to sleeping. the thing about most japanese is they are very aware of using and saving space. so traditionally you sleep on futon that is put away in the morning and taken out before bedtime. they did't have futon frames and that is how i slept for many years, it was wonderful! so there is usually a little closet that everything gets folded up and put into for the day. in japanese style, you sit on the floor on zabuton cushions. they can be stacked up in a corner like in the photo. there are two types of futon, shikibuton (the mattress) and kakefuton (the comforter) and they both fold nicely into thirds. i really prefer sleeping this way but i don't have the luxury of a closet to store such things. and most futon here in the states come with a frame so why not use it? it is also a bit awkward that we are always seated on chairs. although sitting on the floor is not for everyone, when in japan you get used to it. my house in hawaii has sofas but we're usually seated on the floor on zabuton because we have these low tables. i'm just so used to it. one of the coolest things that makes the most sense is the kotatsu. it's this low table with a blanket around it and a heater underneath. it is so nice in the winter! you can be doing anything - studying, eating, watching tv, relaxing or just sitting - and this is the place to do it. i can just imagine it right now since it's a bit chilly and my feet (sockless) are frozen. and with all good furniture, it's small and moves around quite easily. so when you are ready to go to bed just push this baby to the side and lay out your futon. oh man life could be so simple if i could just build this house!

there are a few other main parts of a washitsu which are tatami mats, shoji doors, fusuma doors, the tokonoma and the engawa. i will briefly explain each part, as they are essential. some japanese restaurants have these rooms.

tatami mats
these are made of woven straw and packed. they measure 90cm x 180cm, which is about 3'x6'. rooms that have tatami mats are measured in mats (or in increments of 90cm) and can be ordered by the number of mats. there are a number of layouts of tatami rooms but mostly they are square or rectangular. tatami are a good reason to take off your shoes.

shoji and fusuma doors
these are used to separate rooms and spaces. they are on sliding tracks that allow a room to be closed or open. shoji doors are lightweight and use thin translucent rice paper. the paper is laid over a wooden frame and light shines through the paper, which really adds ambiance. fusuma doors are made with a heavier paper and sometimes are decorated with flowers, animals or scenery. there is typically a small, round indented handle and black lacquered border. they used to be the same size as tatami mats but have since become bigger.

tokonoma
the tokonoma is the featured area of the washitsu. it is a "small raised alcove" that is used to display things. this is an essential part of the room. you can hold different things here but the idea is simplicity in the design. common things are ikebana (art of japanese flower arranging, which is another post entirely), scrolls and bonsai. this is also where you can hang your favorite art, hopefully it has some kind of japanese style or art. when having guests over, it is important that the guest be seated with his/her back towards the tokonoma because this is a sign of respect for your guest by being modest.

engawa - the veranda, terrace, patio
one of my favorite parts of this house/room is the engawa. it is an area of transition between the inside and outside of the house. it comes off the tatami room and looks onto a garden, definitely a must. not sure how it would work for places like oregon where it's always raining but a great idea. i guess it's basically a porch but it's a narrow area, kind of like an outside hallway. i've seen different designs, some have doors on the outside that slide (left), others just open to the air like a porch. it just seems like a great place to reflect and connect to nature, while still in your own home. even if you are in the city, you need to find that inner peace somehow. i am reminded of that scene in kill bill where they have a sword fight in the garden, in the snow. or the last samurai, under the sakura (cherry blossom) tree. it would be awesome to have a garden in the middle of my house. you always see these in samurai movies. i think this whole scheme is an inner desire to become or live like samurai. hahaha i really like the big rock in the picture to the right, as a step into the garden.

while i don't see myself totally getting rid of all things western and building the whole house into a japanese style, i love the idea of a room i can escape to when i want to be whisked off to japan. other parts of the house include a kitchen (miniature sized) and bath. my house is going to have a modern, western kitchen since i spend so much time there. i mean, how am i supposed to cook a meal in that small a kitchen?!!! impossible! that is one area i'm going western. but the bath is definitely going to be japanese.

ofuro - japanese bath
here in the western world we usually have one room for toilet, sink, bath/shower and changing area. this is the full sized bathroom. in japan there are three separate rooms: toilet with attached sink, changing area, and bath/shower. the toilet is nothing special but is in a little room with a window and at the top where normally is nothing but the big heavy porcelain top there is a sink! it is amazing and smart. yet it's toilet water but it's clean. also many toilets have two different flushes for #1 and #2. genius really. portland airport toilets have that too now. as for the changing room, it's not a big deal. it can be whatever you want really. typically it has a sink with mirror (maybe), some shelves, and a place to put your clothes. now for best part, the ofuro. it is a deep hot bath to relax in. first, you sit on a stool outside the tub, either plastic or wooden, and soap & wash yourself. get clean! once you're done and well rinsed off you can get into the ofuro. it's a hot (100-108F) bath you can just soak in. take the cover off and get right in. after a hard day this is where it's at. since you are clean when you get in, the water can be left for a few days before draining and cleaning.

now that i've spent hours on this blog i need to go. i'm getting hungry for tempura, oden, sushi, wakame, kare raisu and domburi! blog on japanese food to come i guess!

#80 - trip list

i make lists. here is one i started at work and need to write down somewhere better than scratch paper so i don't have to start it again. list of things to take/pack when i go on my month-long trip to central america! whoopie! a lot of these things are like "duh" but need to be on the list. crossed out items i already have. other things i have but aren't quite ready or don't have enough of.

general items - things i definitely need!

• backpacking backpack
• day pack/bag - something pretty simple to carry over the shoulder and fit camera, wallet, notebook, snacks, pens, etc

• money belt
• wallet
• cash
• credit cards
• traveler's checks
• passport + copies of
• driver's license/id + copies of
• insurance card + health info + copies of
• watch
• alarm clock
• camera + extra batteries/memory card

clothes - preferably quick drying, light weight things in darker colors.

• chacos
• a hiking/running/tennis shoe
• rubber slippers
• swim suit + shorts
• convertible pants - can be used as pants or when it gets hot...shorts! would be great with cargo pockets.

• regular long pants
• shorts - i've heard only tourists wear shorts but i don't know how i'll survive wearing long pants in tropical weather, maybe if they are nice it's ok
• convertible shirt with collar - roll up sleeves with button to keep it up, these are most likely protecting from the sun with UPF 50
• something nice that is ok for wedding
• short sleeve shirts
• tank tops
• vest
• light fleece
• rain jacket
• underwear and bras
• comfy/lounging clothes + PJs
• hat
• bandana
• socks
• line to hang clothes on

toiletries - i'm pretty low maintenance but still there's quite a bit here, in travel sizes of course

• shampoo + conditioner
• soap
• washcloth + towel
• razor
• toothbrush + toothpaste
• floss
• sunscreen
• bug spray
• first aid - bandaids, gauze, neosporin, etc
• medications - prescription + tylenol/ibuprofen, antihistamine
• emergen C packets
• deodorant!
• girl stuff
• TP
• sewing kit + safety pins

miscellaneous - stuff that you still probably need

• power adapter (maybe)
• notebooks
• pens
• swiss army knife
• flashlight
• double sheet + pillow case
• extra stuff sacks
• playing cards
• a book
• sunglasses
• binoculars
• ziploc bags of different sizes

#79 - almost there

it's been about a month since i made my decision for lent. it was to not buy anything until lent is over, which is on easter. i've got two weeks to go and still haven't bought anything. it's amazing. i haven't broken myself yet because i still see things and think "oh well when lent is over i can buy it". not that i need it but it's cool. i guess the only thing i really NEED is an ipod. you may say "that is silly, if you've gone this long without it then maybe you don't need it" but i do. so now since i've set my budget and have been living with it for a couple months, i know i can do it. i have a line for misc. which i set at $25 and groceries at $200 but i don't think i spent that much for each. so, with whatever i don't spend on whatever i've budgeted i can save towards the ipod. it's gonna be a hard choice but i'm leaning towards the classic. this is how financial responsibility is supposed to work. you want something, save for it and buy. i had become pretty careless and skipped that whole middle part of saving. credit cards are evil like that.

i went to REI yesterday with a friend to shop for a backpack. the proof that i actually have become a better shopper is that my REI member refund was only $7 this year, as opposed to over $100 in years past. this refund, if you aren't in the know, is a percentage of everything you buy at REI. so depending on the item you get up to 10% refund. so just imagine how much i bought there. anyway, yesterday i was there looking around. i have this big trip coming up and know i'll need a few things for my travels. REI is the place to go for this. it's not a good place to go when you have money to spend! i ended up looking at clothes, which is normally very dangerous. so i went looking all around for nice things and decided to try them on, thinking i could make a list of wish items and ask for stuff for my birthday.

this time it was not dangerous at all. i knew i would not be buying anything. also, none of the clothes fit! i'm not one of those girls obsessed with her weight or anything but seriously, sizes that normally would fit me - didn't! so basically i came out very depressed. (if i had found even one thing i liked that fit and bought it i would've felt great, retail therapy) i know, sad. only goes to show my need for this whole lent and giving up shopping thing. i might just extend it another month. supposedly after 21 days it becomes a habit. not so, still really have the urge.

really though, what makes me want to buy so much crap? i have enough. i have more than enough and yet i want to buy more. it's really just sick. tragically, i am a materialistic ugly american afterall. STOP IT! all choices you make in life in the simplest way either make life better or worse. having more stuff does not make life better, so it must make it worse. spending money needlessly does not make life better. needing to spend money to feel better -- ultimately makes life worse. two things: get rid of stuff i don't need. don't buy anymore crap. easy! i can do it.

two more weeks till easter.

#78 - new favorite

last night i watched last king of scotland and it was a GREAT movie. i knew it would be because of all the award nominations it got but sometimes i am a bit disappointed by what critics like. it was very well acted and filmed. but the highlight for me was james mcavoy. of course forest whitaker's performance was great and deserved the best actor award but his supporting actor (who played the president's personal doctor and "closest advisor") was incredible. first of all he's scottish with a great accent, beautiful blue eyes and overall great looks! he's my new movie star crush. i googled him of course and found out he's in atonement with keira knightley, which has been getting great press. also he's gonna be in "wanted" with my favorite actress, angelina jolie. this kid can act and i'm sure he's the new it boy. recently he was in chronicles of narnia, becoming jane and rory o'shea was here. the last one i actually saw and remember his good performance in that but didn't bother to look him up. trust me i'll be following this guy now. i'm such a sucker for blue eyes. his eyes just pop! atonement looks like a good movie from the previews i've seen. basically it's about a little girl who tells a lie and accuses her sister's lover (james) of committing a crime. scandalous! he was nominated for a golden globe for that movie. hopefully i won't become obsessed with him because i tend to do that. other actors i love & respect - leonardo dicaprio, heath ledger, edward norton, johnny depp, christian bale, jake gyllenhaal, joaquin phoenix. as for actresses, i like angelina jolie, gwyneth paltrow, hilary swank, charlize theron, nicole kidman, reese witherspoon, cate blanchett

#77 - music festivals aplenty

i've always wanted to go to a big outdoor music festival. there are many. i went to last year's musicfest NW in portland, which had a ton of great performers. i got a wristband and saw spoon, helio sequence, the brunettes, and the thermals among others. it was great because i could go see any of a hundred bands with that wristband, and it was in my city. right on! that was back in september. now that the weather is warming up, so are music festivals. here is a short but sweet rundown. this is another "if i were rich..." thing. i'd go to them all! i love music!

south by southwest (SXSW) - austin, texas - march 7-16
it's all about music here. bands, films and conferences. there are bands from everywhere (over a thousand!) and they play everywhere. there are a ton of venues and it's a week of music. i looked through the lineups and didn't recognize many bands, mostly cause there were so many! but last year they had aesop rock, badly drawn boy, vashti bunyan, kings of leon, moe, ozomatli, and tokyo police club.

kokua festival - honolulu, hawaii - april 19-20
okay well the tickets are sold out and i can't come back again in 2 months but this is a good one. jack johnson, paula fuga, mason jennings, go jimmy go (part of them played at my h.s. grad party!) and dave matthews (i'm not a fan). it's gonna be at the shell and benefits hawaii environmental education programs. it's put together by jack johnson and i went to the first one awhile back, was good stuff. introduced me to michael franti & spearhead!

coachella - indio, california - april 25-27
three day music festival, outdoors in the desert. started in 1993 as a boycott of ticketmaster. has become bigger every year, and featured RHCP and rage against the machine last year. this years lineup includes jack johnson, the verve, the raconteurs, portishead, kraftwerk, death cab for cutie, love and rockets, my morning jacket, fatboy slim, tegan & sara, stephen malkmus & the jicks and gogol bordello. i don't know about the desert though.

sasquatch - the gorge, washington - memorial day weekend
i haven't yet been to the gorge, but hear it's awesome. big lawn, camping, great music. last year i was really close to going but couldn't find anyone with enough money. this year's lineup includes cold war kids, REM, the cure, death cab for cutie, modest mouse, built to spill, rodrigo y gabriela, michael franti & spearhead (WHOO!), okkervil river, and the new pornographers with of course a ton more. i'm VERY interested in going to this one.

bonnarroo - manchester, tennessee - june 15-18
they've got music, cinema and comedy. what else more could you want? well a lineup that includes pearl jam, metallica, jack johnson, kanye west, chris rock, iron & wine, death cab for cutie, alison krauss, the raconteurs, sigur ros, ben folds, and mason jennings! sounds awesome, except tennessee is not too much.

lollapalooza - grant park, chicago - august 1-3
lollapalooza used to be a touring festival but now is held in illinois. they've got rock, alternative, hip hop and punk bands featured, as well as dance and comedy. the 2008 lineup isn't yet set but last year they featured pearl jam, daft punk, ben harper, muse, iggy & the stooges, modest mouse, interpol, my morning jacket, amy winehouse and snow patrol. quite a nice lineup i'd say. it'll be interesting who's on it this year.

bumbershoot - seattle, washington - labor day weekend
last year featured andrew bird, crowded house, colin hay, devotchka, fergie, floater, gym class heroes, janeane garafolo, joss stone, panic! at the disco, and the shins, plus a lot more! it's been going on since 1980 and has become one of the biggest music & art festivals around.

austin city limits - austin, texas - september 26-28
this has become one of the biggests music festivals and features multiple stages and genres. last years lineup included bob dylan, bjork, the killers, wilco, arcade fire, muse, my morning jacket, queens of the stone age, regina spektor, kaiser chiefs, bloc party, arctic monkeys and damien rice. a lot of big names and a lot of bands i want to see.

so right now i'm thinking sasquatch or bonnarroo, definitely lots of bands i want to see at each, camping, good venues. sasquatch obviously would be a better choice since it's closer and within driving distance...but i wanna see mason jennings again! of course he'll come back to portland and i'm not sure a big music festival is the best place to see him. if i don't make it to either one i'll definitely go to bumbershoot this year. i can't wait!

#76 - tampopo

just watched this last night. i don't know how i missed seeing it before. it is a "ramen western" (vs spaghetti western!) and is quite hilarious. obviously, it's from japan and was made in 1985. it's all about food and people's relationships to food. it's mainly about this lady with a ramen shop and finding the perfect ramen. but there are also other little scenes which are just hilarious such as this one:

i am all about food. this film was great and really made me hungry! there was a scene in which all these ladies are trying to learn to properly eat noodles (without slurping) then this gaijin guy in the restaurant is slurping away! it looks so good that no one can eat their noodles without slurping, which is actually customary in japan.

these are just a couple scenes from a hilarious movie about FOOD. why wait? go watch it now!