i got this little blurb out of the book: the bhagavad gita says "it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection." i've read the gita and must read it again. that's wisdom and sage advice. i believe your twenties are really about trying to figure things out and coming to terms with the person you are, the person you want to be and the person you are becoming. these three people are (at the moment) not one and the same. for some people they are and others it takes longer. it's important to me to continually think about this. that way i've got accountability for myself (present and future).
at the end and start of every month i do a little thinking/analyzing about how the past month was and what i want out of the next one. a little check and re-check. what did i accomplish last month and what do i want to accomplish next? in the book, she writes that in bali common greetings are "where are you going?" and "where are you coming from?"
so where was i last month?
i was enjoying the last of my extended break from school. i went out a lot, hung out with friends, ate food, met people, stayed out late and basically paid for it in the end when i got a flu-like sickness. i slept for 14 hours the other day cause i was so exhausted. it's good to get it out of my system, the craziness. that is not to say there won't be some fun and crazy times this month, but they will be few and far between. i gave up shopping for lent and that worked out well, still haven't bought anything. and if anything, it's taught me to really think about things that i need. for example, my ipod that died. i have a shuffle and right now that is working out just fine for me. it's a little annoying when on a ride of longer than an hour because by then i want to listen to something other than one of the 250 songs that can fit. but lent has been over for a week and i haven't rushed out and bought my ipod (leaning towards the classic). i have to think about other things that i really need. i've got a trip coming up and need/want a few things for it. not even going to risk taking my ipod so i'll buy it when i get back, if i have any money left.
where am i going this month?
my main focus will be on school. i have the one class - pathophysiology. i will be a superstar and i will know things. i will study hard and i will do well. at the same time, i need to deal with my angry/bitter side by throwing dodgeballs at people. so i will be playing lots of dodgeball. i'm also going to be working a few times a week. so school, work and dodgeball. so out of 168 hours a week:
- 56 hours sleeping (8 hours a day, average)
- 24 hours working
- 12 hours AT SCHOOL on mondays
- 6 hours playing dodgeball
while i'm always thinking about the person i want to become and my future self, i often feel i need to focus more on the now, the present.
no day but today -renti neglect the now self. the only way to truly appreciate life is to embrace that self, no matter how flawed or wrong it feels. embracing it doesn't mean being content. you've got to love yourself first! i've never believed that contentment is a good thing. i don't mean contentment of material possessions (this is good), but always trying to be better. becoming a better person. no one is, was or ever will be perfect. some would argue that if you're always trying for something else you'll never appreciate what you have. i would have to disagree and say that being content with what you have will make you complacent and lax. it would me anyway. i appreciate everything i have, whether it was given to me or i have earned it. it doesn't mean i don't want to better myself. i do.
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